Voyaging Back in Time
by MuseandMe2
Summary: When the crew of Voyager is thrown into a mid 20th century Earth simulation, unusual relationships unfold as the crew adapts to their new identities. With the constraints of Starfleet gone and their old roles forgotten, will Chakotay and Janeway finally give in to their budding chemistry?
1. Chapter 1

A tall, brown skinned man hurried down the snowy Chicago street and blew on his hands to keep them warm. Pulling a faded newspaper clip from his overcoat pocket, he checked the address of Mr. Paris's political office. 225 West Street was just ahead on the left. He sprinted down the sidewalk and grasped the knob cursing the cold metal that stuck to his bare hand.

A small bell chimed as he entered and a young teenage boy rushed up to him with a clipboard. "Hey! Welcome to Senator Paris's office. Can I sign you up as a volunteer?"

The man looked at the young boy and said, "And your name is?"

"Burt."

"Burt, my name is Joe Miller and you can sign me up later if I like what Mr. Paris has to say about being our State Senator."

"Oh, Mr. Paris is a shoo-in. Everyone already knows he'll win. You can mark the date. November 16th, 1950. Mr. Paris will be holding his acceptance speech in the evening."

"I see." Joe looked around the small room and noticed a podium set up in front of a mob of newspaper reporters. Off to the side was a small table with a few chairs set around it where a small woman sat lettering campaign posters. "Excuse me."

He walked over to the woman and laid his hat down. "Good Evening."

A petite redhead woman with pale skin and a smattering of freckles across her nose looked up. She pointed a finger across the room. "Good Evening. Reporters are over there."

Joe pulled out a chair and sat down. "Well then it's a good thing I'm not one so I can stay here with you."

Her blue eyes coolly appraised him. "And you are?"

He extended his hand. "Captain Joe Miller. It's very nice to make your acquaintance, Miss..."

"Captain?"

"Airforce. Retired, of course, after the war."

"Of course."

Joe picked up the poster. A sketch of Sam Paris's likeness was being added next to his catchy campaign slogan. With a whistle, he said, "You do very nice work. Very talented."

She took the poster back and laid it down. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Fiancé?"

Her eyebrows rose. "Excuse me?"

He tapped the drawing. "You seem to know your subject quite well. Fiancé or just a starry eyed dame?"

Her face darkened as she sat back and crossed her arms. "That's none of your business, Mr. Miller."

"Captain," he corrected.

"Our war is over. I don't think that title quite fits you anymore."

Joe grinned. "Maybe not. But it's what all my friends call me. And what do they call you?"

"You and I are not friends. And the title of Captain only belongs on someone who still has a ship."

A tall blonde man matching the description of the poster image walked up and looked down at Joe. "Is there a problem, Kathryn?"

She smirked at Joe. "Nothing I can't handle."

Joe stood up and offered his hand. "Mr. Paris. Captain Joe Miller."

Sam took the offered hand and held it tight. "Captain, is it? Well, out of respect for our returning service men I won't do you the courtesy of throwing you out myself. I'll just kindly ask you to leave."

Joe pulled his hand away and took out the newspaper clipping. "This here says this event is open to the public. Come and meet your future State Senator."

Sam's eyes narrowed. "You've met me. Now get out."

Joe slowly took off his coat and sat back down in the chair. "Actually, I think I'll stay. Unless you really want to give the press corps a show. I'm sure it will make for a much more interesting article than the fluff piece you're about to give them."

Sam's fists clenched and Kathryn jumped up and grabbed his arm. "Sam, please. Just ignore him."

"Easily done." He kicked the leg of Joe's chair and headed to the podium.

"Was that necessary? Tell me. Do you insult everyone you meet or just the important people?"

"Only the self-important people. I have been nothing but nice to you because I like you. Your fiancé, not so much."

"Sam's not my fiancé."

"Oh no?" Joe tapped the poster. "You sure about that? The two of you seem to know one another real well."

"Who are you?"

"I've already told you…"

Kathryn put her hands on her hips. "What do you do?"

"Oh." Joe rose and pulled out a business card from his lapel. "I am in advertising. Jackson and Malloy. Biggest agency in town."

Kathryn fingered the card. "I've heard of them. Why are you here? Treating Sam like that was not the way to win over a potential client."

"Yes, well, I'm sure the Paris family has their needs well taken care of already. Old money always does."

Kathryn smiled. "Is that so?"

He nodded. "Yes, it is."

"Well, Mr. Miller, perhaps you're not very acquainted with your owners but Sam's father and Mr. Jackson are very good friends."

"Yes, yes they are."

"So you know if I report you to Mr. Jackson, about how long do you think you'll still be employed there?"

Joe chuckled. "A dame is going to sell me out, huh?"

Kathryn smiled. "This one will. No one treats my family like this."

"Family? And here you keep telling me there is nothing between you and this one." He jerked a thumb in Sam's direction.

Kathryn's face grew somber. "There isn't." She threw his card back and returned to her chair. "If you will kindly leave now, please."

"And miss the show? It's going to be a major headline."

Her blue eyes returned to his dark ones. "What headline? What show?"

"Thank you all for coming tonight." Sam approached the podium. "It warms my heart to see such a turnout for my candidacy."

A reporter stepped forward with a pad and pencil. "Yeah, Paris, forget your ticket to the legislature. What about this here story that came across the wires today about your old man taking bribes from the government during the war and using them to finance his own companies and yours?"

A murmur went through the room as Sam put his hands up. "I, um, I'm afraid I have no idea to what you are referring. Paris Brewery and SP Steel operate completely independently from my father's corporations."

"Does that mean you ain't involved in his illegal activity?" the reporter asked.

"My father has done nothing illegal and my family will sue anyone who says otherwise."

"Including the federal courts? Washington says indictments are being handed down tomorrow."

Sam looked at his handlers and the reporters jockeyed for space as they tossed questions and demanded answers on the breaking story.

Joe looked over at Kathryn who was in obvious shock at the scene. "Good thing you're not marrying him. That would have been a short engagement, huh?"

Kathryn shook her head. "This isn't right. Sam would never be involved in anything like this."

Joe laughed. "Yeah, a Paris in trouble with the Feds. I can't even count how many times his old man has skated on charges." He rose and drew on his coat. "Don't worry. I'm sure a lot of money will exchange hands and the Paris reputation will be as pristine as ever." He picked up the poster. "Won't be in time for the election though. It's a shame. You do good work."

She snatched it away and pointed to the door. "Get out!"

Joe picked up his hat and pushed his business card back to her. "If Sam isn't involved with his father's activities and wants to rehab his company's images before they go bankrupt, call me. The best offense is for Sam to distance himself as soon as possible from his father. From what I hear around town, that's something he's been dying to do for a long time just because of growing instances like this. I'm his man. I know what it's like to be a rebel. And I'm Jackson's top ad rep which means I'm damn good about what I do." He winked. "If I can help and you know I can, please call me, Miss…."

She picked up the business card and looked over at Sam. "Janeway. Kathryn Janeway."

"Miss Janeway." He took her hand and kissed it. "It's been a pleasure meeting you, Kathryn. Til we meet again, soon."


	2. Chapter 2

Joe walked into the ad agency the next morning and laid his heavy coat on his desk chair. Picking up the newspaper on his desk, he read the headline shouting the latest Paris family scandal.

"Miller!"

Joe snapped to attention as Mr. Jackson came barreling out of his office. He was a tall slim man with dark skin and elfin shaped ears that stuck out from his closely cropped head of hair.

"Miller, I understand you made quite a scene at the Paris office last night."

Joe picked up a cup of coffee from his desk. Taking a sip, he said, "I believe Mr. Paris made that scene all by himself."

"Might I remind you that you work for me. Soliciting clients that we make money for by selling their wares and receiving a share of the profits is what you do. The Paris' have no wares that we are interested in selling to the general public. Therefore, they are a waste of time for you."

"Sounds like you got a phone call, Mr. Jackson. With all due respect, I was off duty, sir. I was only taking in a political speech at a public event." He shook the paper. "The election is in a couple of weeks. I have to make a decision."

Mr. Jackson studied him. "As our company code stipulates, you are never off duty. Everyone you meet is a potential client or customer that we make money off of. Or do you need a refresher in corporate policy, Captain?"

Joe put down his cup. "I think my sales records over the past year prove that I am very well versed in all those things, sir."

"Then might I interject into your well read company knowledge that we also do not make enemies of the city's most prominent families, especially one as well connected as the Paris family."

Joe nodded. "It was not my intention to offend Mr. Paris. I know he is a close personal friend of yours and I would never put you in an uncomfortable position."

"I assure you that you did not, Captain Miller. But let me be perfectly clear. If I ever am placed in a situation where I have to choose between you and a Paris, you will lose that choice."

"Understood, sir."

"Good morning, gentleman. I see Mr. Jackson has already spoken to you, Mr. Miller."

Joe watched Kathryn Janeway remove her winter coat and gloves. Hanging them on the coat rack, she whirled around in her full skirted polka dot dress and smoothed the matching scarf wound around her ponytail.

"Where is my office, Mr. Jackson? I'm eager to begin."

"Miss Janeway, how nice to see you." Mr. Jackson kissed her hand and brought her to Joe's desk. "Captain Miller, this is your new assistant. Your primary responsibility until it is completed to my satisfaction is the Paris account."

"The Paris account, sir?"

"You made an offer last night," Kathryn said. "You do remember that, Mr. Miller?"

He lifted up his coffee cup. "I remember everything."

"Coffee," she said. "I never did like the taste of it."

Joe looked at his cup. "She didn't mean it," he whispered.

Mr. Jackson looked between the two. "Well, I will leave you to get started. We understand each other, Captain?"

"Yes, sir." He waited for Mr. Jackson's office door to close before he smiled at Kathryn. "How nice to meet you again, Kathryn. So, Sam took me up on my offer last night? Smart man."

"Yes, he is."

Joe laid the cup down and sat down in his chair. "Well, tell your beau I will update him on my progress. I'll make a few calls and he'll be back in business in no time."

Kathryn perched on the edge of his wooden desk. "Who shall we call first?"

Joe tugged at his ear. "We?"

"Yes, didn't Mr. Jackson tell you?" She waved her finger back and forth. "You and I have the Paris account."

Joe smirked. "I heard him say you are my 'assistant'. You may assist by going back to your boy and telling him I will report back to him this afternoon."

Kathryn lifted the coffee cup and poured the remaining liquid into the waste basket beside her. "I will assist you by helping you with the legwork." She picked up the black rotary phone on the desk. "Now, who is our first call?"

Joe chuckled. "You're serious?"

She put the phone down and folded her arms. "Yes. I was the one who convinced Mr. Paris to not have Mr. Jackson fire you last night. Don't make me regret that."

Joe placed a hand over his chest. "Fire me? What did I do?" He rubbed his chin. "No, let me guess. Your boyfriend was hopping mad last night after he got raked over the coals by the reporters and I was an easy target for his frustration? There's a cure for rage like that, you know. It's called meditation."

"I have no idea what that is but I'm sure it's ridiculous." She leaned over. "Now, I'm the point person here, Mr. Miller. Not you."

Joe chuckled again. "A dame? You want me to take orders from a lady?" Joe rolled his chair out from the desk and swept his arms out. "Go ahead. You think you know what to do to save Sam, have at it, little lady. You just let me know when I can bring you coffee. Oh wait, you don't drink coffee. A man being led by a woman. What have our times come to?"

She took a pencil from the desk and tucked it behind her ear. "Tea will be just fine, thank you." Picking up the receiver, she slowly spun the dial and placed her first call.

For the next hour, Joe watched as she dialed one family friend after another and got nowhere with either her pleas for Paris family loyalty or her admirable amount of charm. Strands of hair fell across her red face as she finally dropped the phone down banged the desk with her fists. "I am so frustrated!"

"I can make you feel better." Joe placed his hands on the back of his head and crossed a leg. Wiggling his dark brows, he said, "Are you done being in charge? Can the Captain fix things now?" He rolled his chair back and picked up the empty mug. Putting it under her nose, he said, "Coffee, black."

She blew out a frustrated breath and snatched his cup.

"Go ahead," he said. "I'll wait. I work better when I have something in me."

Kathryn stomped her way to the coffee pot and filled it. Turning back, she watched him take a clear bottle in a brown bag out of his desk drawer. "Typical," she said.

"All ad men drink. It's part of the job and a nice perk too. It's tough being in charge with so much responsibility. It's a lot. That's why leadership is a man's game. Women aren't any good at it."

"Is that so?"

He took the cup from her and poured in a large amount of liquor. "It's so as you just demonstrated. Now, let me show you how this is done."

Joe picked up the phone and dialed a number. As he listened to the digits tick by, he glanced at Kathryn and winked. "Yeah, Pat. I need my usual table for lunch. You got it. Great! And I have a new brew for you to try too. No. No. Trust me. You'll love it. Mystery beer. It will be a great selling gimmick. Everyone will want to know what it is and you will be the only place in town that serves it. Yeah, I'll bring it in. See you in about an hour. Thanks. Bye!"

Kathryn rubbed her arms. "You made lunch reservations? That's your expert tactic? Eating?"

"I just found a place for your boy to sell his beer. Since every other establishment in this fair city won't touch it until his Daddy's scandal blows over, he needs the sales. Otherwise, his business goes belly up. No sales. No paycheck." He pointed to her coat. "No more fancy clothes."

"Mystery beer?"

Joe stood up and pulled on his coat. "People love a good mystery, especially these days. So let's go give them one. Got to stop by Sam's place first though to get a sample. Think you as my assistant can handle such a special request?"

Kathryn sniffed. "I'm your partner, Mr. Miller."

He grinned and grabbed her coat from the rack. Holding it open, he said, "You call me Captain and I'll maybe call you partner to make you smile."

She pointed a finger. "That will never happen." She walked over and, as she wrapped herself up, she felt him close by her ear.

"Be careful of saying never. It's usually the happily ever afters that don't come true but nevers are a sure bet." Joe stepped back and saw her eyes glisten as she looked up. She dabbed at them with her gloved hand. "Oh hey, I didn't mean to upset…"

"It's, it's nothing." She took a deep breath. "Let's go. You need Sam Paris' beer? I know exactly how to get it."


	3. Chapter 3

Joe helped Kathryn out of the cab in front of the large stone brewery. The wind was brisk and he shielded her with his arm and guided her to the front of the building.

"Miss Janeway," the guard said. "How nice to see you."

"Mr. Gallagher. We were just going to visit Sam. Is he in his office?"

The guard scanned Joe who smiled and struck a pose.

"Aside from his obnoxious personality," she said. "He's perfectly harmless."

"There are a few hundred Nazis who would not agree with you," Joe said.

She entered and started down the hall. "I'm sure they would if they could but since the Army bombed most of them out of existence they can't."

"The Army doesn't bomb. We naval captain's give those orders."

She stopped. "I'm sure you don't mean to brag about killing hundreds of innocent people, Mr. Miller."

"Oh I'm sorry. Would you rather be having this conversation in German right now? Listen, lady, commanding a ship takes a lot of nerve and involves a lot of tough decisions. Consider yourself blessed that you'll never know what that's like to hold the lives of your crew in your hands and be in the midst of the worst crisis of your life, especially with no backup."

She searched his eyes. "I am very grateful to you and to all the men who served as you did. Believe me, those of us on the home front lived it with you and some of us suffered almost as much."

"Really? Did you get scared at night in that penthouse on Lakeshore Drive with all the Paris boys for company? Instead of serving their country, they sat home and watched Daddy make millions off of the war while the rest of us fought to preserve his right to be able to do it." He stepped closer. "Some of my men gave their lives and now it looks like your beau's daddy took bribes from the Defense Department just to give us shoddy equipment to fight with. I have men who are never coming home all so the Paris family could make another extra buck to pad their already bulging bank accounts."

Kathryn raised her chin. "For your information, Mr. Miller, the Paris boys did not sit home. Tim Paris…Tim Paris was the best damn pilot the war ever saw!" She turned away and swiped her cheeks.

Joe's mouth opened. "You…your…you loved him. That's who you are. That's your connection to the Paris family. You were the fiancée Tim Paris left behind when he got shot down. I should have recognized your picture from the wires."

She sniffed and wiped her nose. "I'm sure you were too busy fighting. My sincere apologies. I didn't mean to offend you."

He took her hand and said, "And my sincerest condolences, Kathryn. I didn't mean to be such a jerk."

She patted his hand. "Apology accepted."

He smiled and two dimples appeared. "Good. But, let me add one thing. A word of advice. Don't go marrying his brother. Tim was a decent man. I met him a few times in training and he was okay. But his little brother Sam isn't worthy to speak to you yet alone look at you in that way."

She pulled her hand back. "Sam's not so bad. And, not that it's any of your business, but there is nothing between us."

"Good. Because you'd be much happier with someone like me."

Kathryn laughed. "You? You and I can't even have a civil conversation. And, no offense, but the rebel warrior is not really my type."

"Okay. But you'd be surprised what happens when two people get to know one another. You wanted to work with me, remember. I am not responsible for your virtue from here on out."

"I assure you my virtue will be intact today as well as tomorrow. Don't flatter yourself, Miller." She smoothed her dress. "Now, shall we get that beer that you want? You're going to be late to your lunch date if you don't."

He hooked her arm. "Our lunch date."

"Our lunch date?"

"You wanted to be partners. Partners visit clients and a pretty, charming assistant like yourself makes the job that much easier, especially in a bar."

"A bar? I'm not going to any bar!"

"Then you're resigning your position as my partner? Or is Sam not worth it to you anymore now that you know I'm your more viable option?"

Kathryn huffed. "Get over yourself, Miller!"

She sprinted down the hall and Joe chuckled as he followed after her.

Kathryn pushed open the old ornate wooden office door. "Sam?"

Sam Paris looked up and glared over his glasses as Joe appeared behind her. "What is he doing here?"

"Didn't your father tell you? He and I are going to be working to get your companies back on track."

"Him?" Sam leaned over his desk and clasped his hands. "You know how to get my vendors to take back their orders so I can pay my men?"

Joe nodded. "I do. I just need a six pack and this little lady and we'll be out of your way."

Sam glanced at Kathryn before looking back at Joe. "You got ideas to mess with her?" He rose and clenched his fist. "If so, I've got news for you…."

"Whoa." Kathryn took his fist and held it. "Nobody's messing with me. Joe's going to take the beer and give it to a local pub. They're going to sell it as mystery beer. That's a neat gimmick, don't you think?"

"Mystery beer? Like mystery meat? I make a quality beverage here and he wants me to be ashamed of it?"

Joe bit his lip. "Any takers on that quality product now that your Daddy is on his way to the pen?"

Sam lunged over the desk and Joe squared up.

"No! Don't!" Kathryn jumped in between the two men. "Sam, sit down!" She whirled around to Joe. "And you back off and behave!" She waited as the two men stood down. "Now, we are a team here and we need to work together. You two don't like each other. That's fine. That's why I'm here. Someone has to make sense around here and make sure we get to where we're going." She placed a finger in the air. "That takes a woman."

Joe scowled. "You don't want my help, Paris, then just say the word. You can figure this whole mess out on your own. I've got better things to do."

Sam bristled until Kathryn put her arms around him. "Sam, I promise I'll keep him out of your face. Let him try. What do you have to lose?"

Sam looked up and brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. "You. I, uh, I mean, you, you make sure you do that." Sitting back in his chair, he tugged at his shirt bottom to smooth it out and cleared his throat. "Get out, Miller. And don't come back."

"The beer?" Joe asked.

"Gallagher can get what you need," Sam said.

Kathryn kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

As she rose, Sam drew her back and grabbed her chin. He pressed his lips to hers for a moment and then pulled back. "See you tonight, Kathryn." He grinned at Joe. "I said get out. That means leave, now."

Kathryn brushed the back of her hand across her lips and turned around. Unable to meet either man's eyes, she mumbled a goodbye and left the office.

Joe caught up with her after a few steps and said, "Your first kiss?" She remained silent so he added, "Don't worry, Kathryn. Mine will be better."


	4. Chapter 4

Kathryn entered the small Irish pub Joe had brought her to and looked around. A large Irish flag hung over a small carved wooden bar where women dressed in short green cocktail dresses moved to and from the small tables scattered throughout the room. It was dimly lit but filled with loud and raucous laughter from the lunchtime crowd of union laborers and warehouse men.

"Captain! Come on over. I've got your table all set." A small round man with a shocking mane of yellow hair walked over to greet them. "How nice of you to come in today! And I always enjoy meeting new people. You must introduce me to this lovely lady."

"Neil, this is Kathryn."

"Kathryn, what a pretty name and a pretty lady. Welcome to Pat's!"

"Thank you." She allowed the exuberant bar keep to help her off with her outerwear. "Lovely place you have here."

"Well, aren't you nice to say that?" He appraised her coat and said, "Probably not the type of establishment you're used to but we do okay." Hanging it on a wooden peg by the front entrance, he said, "I could keep it behind the bar if you're worried?"

"Oh no. I can keep an eye on it," she said.

"Right, well, just this way."

A petite black haired waitress followed as Neil led the couple to a back corner table. Clicking her necklace, she said, "Doctor, I've made visual contact again with the Captain and Chakotay."

"Both of them?"

"Yes, they are here together. Neelix is showing them to a table."

"Excellent. Serve them and see what you can find out until I get there."

"I'm on it."

B'Elanna moved to the table and introduced herself. "Hello, welcome to Pat's. I'm Betty and I'll be serving you today."

Chakotay looked her up and down and said, "You're new. Nice addition to the place, Neil."

Neil threw up his hands. "We try." He patted B'Elanna on the backside and said, "Treat them well, dear. They are special customers."

B'Elanna held her instinct to knock him to the floor and forced a smile. Glancing at Kathryn, she said, "Captain, are you okay?"

Kathryn looked at Chakotay who answered, "I'm fine. This is my assistant, Kathryn Janeway."

Kathryn held out her hand. "Partner actually. It's nice to meet you Betty."

"Assist…Partner?" B'Elanna shook her hand. "A partner in what, may I ask?"

"We work at the advertising agency, Jackson and Malloy. Mr. Miller and I are handling an account together."

"I see. And how is that going?"

"When Mr. Miller is on his best behavior, it goes just fine."

Neil interrupted with two mugs of beer. "Your usual, Captain, and for the lady."

"Oh no, I don't drink," Kathryn said.

Neil put a hand to his chest. "Not drink? Not try our most famous brew from the land of our ancestors…"

Chakotay held up his hand. "Try it or he'll be here for days."

Kathryn took a deep breath and grasped the frosty mug. With a smile and a cheer, she took a small sip from the glass. The cool cider slipped down her throat and warmed her insides. "Wow, that's, that's quite good." She put the glass to her lips again.

"Maybe you shouldn't drink that," B'Elanna said.

Neil shot her a nasty look. "That's no way to act, Betty. To encourage the customers not to drink? How do you expect to make a living? How do you expect me to make a living? I think you need some re-training."

The Doctor shimmered in behind the bar dressed in a casual shirt and pants with a large apron tied across his chest. A waitress looked up at him. "Where in tarnation did you just come from, honey?"

"Please don't sample the beverages, Heidi. It's not a good look and it wastes my inventory."

Heidi gave him a look and returned to her tables while the Doctor made his way over to where his Captain and First Officer sat.

"Pat!" Chakotay jumped up and shook the Doctor's hand. He swung a pack of beer into the EMH's hands. "Here you go."

"Paris beer? You must be joking. These men will tear my place apart if they know they are drinking this. You want me to serve war veterans beer from a guy who is being charged with making a few bucks on faulty military equipment?"

"That's an accusation against Sam's father," Kathryn said. "Sam had nothing to do with that and was not involved in it in anyway."

The Doctor looked at the Captain in her 1950s dress attire. "That's a nice look for you."

She looked confused. "Why, thank you."

Chakotay clapped him on the back and said, "Mystery beer. No one will know it's from his brewery. We'll have it shipped unmarked, you put it on special, and you make a ton of money. Am I good to you or what?"

"Commander, I'll be shot if one person discovers me with this. I can't even hold this right now!"

"It's Captain. You must be hitting the stuff early today." Chakotay patted his back. "Besides, I have no doubt that you're bulletproof."

"That's beside the point." The Doctor looked at B'Elanna's annoyed face. "Uh, Captain, may I see you for a moment in my office?"

"Relax, Pat. Taking care of people is my number one job."

"Please, it will just take a second. There is something other than this that we must discuss privately."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn who raised her glass. "I'm fine," she said.

Neil nodded. "We'll take good care of her, Captain. I need to get to know your new friend anyway."

Chakotay followed the Doctor into a back room and waited as the EMH closed the door. The Doctor turned and took a medical tricorder from his apron and waved it.

Chakotay jumped back. "Whoa, what is that?" He stared at the blinking device.

"Nothing that will hurt I assure you." He moved the device beside Chakotay's head and said, "Ah, there you are." The Doctor looked into Chakotay's eyes and said, "But I'm afraid this will sting a bit."

The Doctor lifted a cylindrical device and pressed it. Chakotay felt a sharp pain in his temple and jumped again. "Ow! Damn it!"

The Doctor fished a small chip from under the skin. "I'm sorry to ruin your trip down Ancient Earth's memory lane but I'm afraid Voyager needs her crew back."

Chakotay rubbed his head. "What? What's going on?"

"Hirogen. You and most of the rest of the crew have been placed in a 1950s ancient Earth story in the holodecks. I believe you are being primed for a hunt."

"Hunt?"

"Yes. Right now, you're all enjoying yourselves pretty innocuously but I believe the Hirogen are just testing to see how each of you is reacting to your false environments. I have no doubt the plan is to change this scenario into a much more violent one, one in which you'll all be running for your lives."

Chakotay rubbed his temple again and looked around. "Where are we?"

"Holodeck Two. This program is set in Chicago Ancient Earth just after World War II."

"I feel like I've done this before."

"You are a big time ad executive in the city and the Captain is your partner."

"Partner?"

"Yes. You and she are trying to save the political reputation and financial coffers of one Sam Paris." He pointed to the beer.

"Sam Paris?"

"Our personnel files refer to him as Tom."

"Tom, great. And the others?"

"Tuvok is your ad agency boss. Very strict from what I've heard."

"My boss?"

"Yes. Believe me, with you as the Captain and the Captain as your assistant, I would have almost thought this was your own personal scenario if B'Elanna and I hadn't met our uninvited guests."

"B'Elanna?"

"Cocktail waitress." He held up a finger. "Go ahead. I will tell her every word that is about to come out of your mouth and I will not be available to heal you for at least twenty minutes." Chakotay shut his jaw and the Doctor nodded. "Good choice."

"Who else?"

"You've met Neelix as my resident bar keep. That's all we've been able to locate as far as the Senior Crew. The others seem to be scattered here and there amongst the city denizens across the various holodeck programss."

"All with this chip in their heads?"

The Doctor lifted the small device up. "It would appear so. No one has responded to our hails on their own."

"Where's Harry?"

"On the bridge. Someone has to make sure all the holodecks remain up and running. I can't imagine what a 1950s citizen of Earth would do if their world suddenly disappeared into blackness."

"Where are the Hirogen?"

"Concentrated in Engineering."

"Wonderful. We need to get rid of these chips and take back our ship." He reached for the medical device that snapped the chip but the Doctor pulled it away. "Doctor?"

"I don't think this technology existed in this era."

"We didn't exist in this era."

"You're being monitored. I had Harry cloak this room so that it's not currently visible but everything you do out there is being watched. You'll need to find another way."

"How?"

"Buy time. These devices are not very sophisticated. Harry and I are working on a transmission that will disrupt all of the devices at once. But, you'll need to get as many people as you can prepared to fight once their memories suddenly return." He grabbed a beer bottle. "This, I'm afraid, won't do it."

Chakotay nodded. "Okay, keep me informed."

The Doctor placed a small lapel pin on his shirt. "That's what this is for. It's a communicator. Emergencies only. If they see you use it…you don't want the Hirogen to see you use it."

"Understood."

"You and B'Elanna are the only ones with your wits about you as they would say in this day and age. She'll try to get to as many of the crew as she can but you're closer to the senior staff."

"Got it. I'll try and jog their memories on my own."

"I doubt that will work but, if you can get them to trust you as this Captain Joe Miller, that may be all you'll need when the time comes for them to follow you in all of the chaos that's about to erupt."

Chakotay grinned. "So I finally made captain, huh?"

"Don't get too full of yourself, Commander. You need to act exactly as you did before. Do not draw suspicion."

"It's not my first day in command, Doctor."

"Yes, well, see that's it not your last." He held up the beer in his hand. "What do biological beings see in this stuff?"

"If memory serves from my ancient Earth classes, that stuff is the reason why most of us biological beings got here. It's why we were born."

The Doctor wrinkled his forehead and looked at the label. "How? I don't think that's in my medical journals."

Chakotay chuckled. "I'll be in touch, Doctor."


	5. Chapter 5

Chakotay walked back into the noisy pub and spotted the Captain and Neelix at the back table. He caught his breath as he noticed her in the long polka dot dress with her loose hair swept casually back into the scarf. It was a stark difference to her normal uniformed appearance and he took a moment to admire it.

B'Elanna approached him and peered into his eyes. He appraised her attire as well and she placed a hand on her hip. "I see you're back. Not one word or I'll get you before the Hirogen do."

He cleared his throat and nodded. "You know what to do?"

"I've been doing it. Catch up, Chakotay."

He gave her a sideways glance and walked over to where Neelix and Kathryn sat.

"Captain!" Neelix jumped up and offered Chakotay his chair. "Have your seat back. Why, she is delightful company! Let me grab you both a refresher." He took the two empty mugs and dashed away to the bar.

Chakotay sat down and Kathryn's blue eyes lit up. "Enjoying yourself?" he asked.

"Very much. You know I've never been to one of these places but I quite like it."

Chakotay looked around and leaned forward. "This doesn't remind you of Tom's beach parties on the holodeck? It seems like you and I hung out at that sand bar quite a bit."

"Tom? I don't think I know him. And I know you and I weren't anywhere on a ship's deck since I only met you last night." She rubbed her head and said, "I think that drink that Neil gave me is making me feel funny."

On cue, Neelix laid two more drinks in front of the couple. "Here we go."

"Thanks, Neelix" Chakotay said. "But I think the lady's had enough."

"Neel-ix? Now there's a name I haven't been called in a while."

Chakotay grabbed his arm. "But you remember it?"

Neelix laughed. "I don't remember much of anything working in a place like this. Neel-ix. I like that, Captain." He walked back to the bar.

Chakotay glanced at Kathryn. "Anyone ever call you Captain?"

She took a sip. "Of course not. Why would anyone call me that? But someone does still have to call me partner not that I am holding that grudge."

"Drink enough of that and you won't care what anyone calls you." He pulled the beer away. "I think you've had enough."

Kathryn yanked her drink back. Pointing a finger, she said, "I know you think that men are more capable than women at everything."

"I what?"

"But, let me tell you something, Miller. I don't need a man. I don't need any man. The only man I ever needed was Tim but now he's gone. So, no more!"

"Tim?"

She swiped her nose. "My fiancée."

"Oh, Mark."

"Mark? Who's Mark? What's gotten into you?"

Chakotay looked towards the back room. "Come with me. I want to show you something."

Kathryn tried to stand but tripped and fell back. She waited until Chakotay helped her up.

Steadying her with a hand around her waist, he asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded but rubbed a hand against her hip. "That hurt."

Chakotay took a piece of bread from a nearby basket. "Eat this. It will help. Come on. I know someone who can make you feel better."

Kathryn picked at the roll and let Chakotay lead her to the back of the bar. He opened the door and brought her inside and made her sit on a small cot butted up against the wall. He sat in the desk chair and called, "Doctor? Doctor?"

Kathryn watched him for a minute and then said, "I think you need to call the doctor on the phone." She pointed to the black rotary on the desk. "Are you sick?"

He took a handkerchief from his pocket. "No, but I think you've seen better days." He walked over to a small porcelain sink that jutted out from the wall and wet the cloth down with some cool water. Wringing it out, he sat down next to her and pressed it to her forehead.

Kathryn closed her eyes, enjoying his touch. "That feels good." She leaned forward and Chakotay held onto her as she took the cloth and swiped it all over her face and chest.

He tried to look away from her wet skin but found himself too focused with the lack of space between them. "Kathryn?"

"Hmmmmm?" She let him brush a strand of hair from her cheek as she looked up. "You have very pretty eyes," she said. "They're very dark. Darker than I've ever seen." She touched just above his eyebrow and said, "Yes, very nice." Her finger dropped to stroke his cheek. "Your skin is different too. I've never seen anyone with skin like this."

Chakotay licked his lips. "I, uh, I don't think my people had made it off the reservations yet in this time period."

"This time period?" Her smile faded. "What reservations? You mean like Indians?"

"We prefer natives."

"You're joking! There are no Indians in Chicago."

"Well, there is at least one here now."

"You are a strange man, Miller."

"Kathryn…."

She leaned in close and brushed her lips against his.

Chakotay felt a rush of excitement race through his body and he pulled away. "Don't…"

"But you said you would be better the first time."

"I said what?"

Kathryn gave him a small smile. "About an hour ago at Sam's office when he kissed me."

Chakotay shot up. "Tom kissed you?"

"Tom?" Kathryn's eyes narrowed. "Who is this Tom? It was Sam, Miller. Sam Paris. Your new boss. Wow and I thought I was feeling a little out of it."

He grabbed her shoulders. "When did Tom-Sam kiss you?"

Kathryn pulled away. You know what, Miller? I don't like to play games. Whatever this new one is to prove you are once again superior to me, newsflash, you're not!"

"Newsflash?"

Kathryn jumped up but then fell back as her world swayed. "Oh, I think I need to lie down."

Chakotay helped her lie back on the bed and then pressed his pin. "Doctor!"

Kathryn crossed an arm over her face. "I told you that you need to use the phone to call for a doctor."

Chakotay patted her arm and said, "Just relax. You're going to need your strength. We've got big problems and I need you to help me solve them."

"Well it's about time you figured that out." She pointed her finger. "You do need me, Miller. You promised to help Sam, correction, you have to help Sam, or Mr. Jackson will fire you on the spot as soon as we return to the office."

"It will be Tuvok's dream come true," Chakotay muttered.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Just take a nap and sleep it off."

"Sleep what off?" She raised herself onto her elbows. "Don't you dare get fresh with me, Miller."

Chakotay's eyes swept over her. "As much as I would like to do that, Kathryn, the fact that you won't remember it, makes me uncomfortable."

She shook her finger. "Don't touch me. I know how to hurt men who try that."

Chakotay chuckled. "Yes, you do. I've seen it."

She slowly shook her head. "You are a truly strange man. I cannot wait until this is all over."

He watched her lie back and said quietly, "You and me both."


	6. Chapter 6

Kathryn awoke and shielded her eyes from a small flash of light. She looked over to see Captain Joe Miller playing with his lapel pin. The sunlight from a small window glinted off of it. She rose and held a hand to her head. "Miller?"

Chakotay sat up and asked, "How do you feel?"

She shook her head. "I don't think I should drink that again."

"Agreed."

She looked at the pin he was fondling. "Do you need help putting that back on?"

He glanced at the small communicator. "Sure. It won't do anything else it's supposed to do."

Kathryn took the small pin from his hand and smoothed her palm down his chest. Chakotay shivered under her touch and she asked, "Are you cold?"

"N-No."

She fastened his tie in place with the pin. "There. It does exactly what it's supposed to." She ran her hands down his chest again to smooth out his shirt. "You're a bit of a rumpled mess though."

"Rumpled mess?"

"You need to be ironed. I should have that done first." She stood up and dusted her hands. "There may be an iron around here somewhere. Mr. Jackson appreciates cleanliness. Let me check with Neil and see if he has one in the back somewhere. With this cot in here, I'll bet someone must have the necessities lying about."

Chakotay watched her disappear from the room and held the door to watch her make a request of Neelix. He immediately bustled under the bar and came up with a small triangular object. Kathryn leaned over and kissed the Talaxian on the cheek and then hurried back to the office.

She held the iron up and announced, "Success! We just need to heat this up and you'll be all set. She knelt down and undid his pin. "Take off your shirt."

Chakotay's breath caught. "What?"

"Take off your shirt. I can't iron it with you in it. I'll be right back."

Chakotay caught her wrist. "Wait. Where are you going? You need to stay with me."

Kathryn took her arm back. "I'm sure I can find my way to the stove and back, Miller."

"Stove?"

She laid a hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling all right, Miller? You drank all of Sam's beer, didn't you? I told you the Paris brewery makes good stuff. For an ad man who drinks morning, noon, and night, you're a flyweight."

"A what?"

She shook her head and walked back out to the bar. Neelix took the iron from her and disappeared into the back. Chakotay watched as two men approached the Captain from behind.

"Hey, there, pretty lady. How are you doing today?"

B'Elanna stepped in and said, "She's fine, Brian. Take a seat and your drink will be ready in a minute."

The other man pushed B'Elanna aside. "Later, Betty."

Kathryn turned around.

"What's a pretty dame like you doing in a joint like this?"

"She's with me." Chakotay stared down the two men recognizing them as two of Tuvok's security officers.

Brian looked him up and down. "Oh yeah, I haven't heard the lady say that."

"The lady doesn't have to say it. I said it. Now go take a seat or I'll put you in one."

Brian scowled. "I'd like to see you try that, brown man."

"Yeah," the second man said. "How come you look like that? It's November for god's sake. No one has a suntan this time of the year."

Chakotay grabbed the man's shirt and pushed him against the bar. "I like to travel."

Brian executed a standard security move and tried to put Chakotay into a chokehold but he was prevented by Kathryn's quick move.

"Leave him alone," she said.

Brian smiled. "Well, well, well. Maybe you're not such a lady after all. Where did you learn to do that?"

"Leave and she won't show you the advanced class," Chakotay said.

B'Elanna stepped up and said, "Here are your drinks. Table, boys, now before Neil gets the bat."

The two men walked away and Chakotay put his hands on his hips. "Nice moves. Remember learning them from somewhere?"

Kathryn put a hand to her temple and shook her head. "No, of course not. I told you I can take care of myself."

Neelix came running out with the iron gripped in a towel. "Here you go, dear."

Kathryn gingerly took it from him. "Off with that shirt, Miller. Now."

Chakotay glanced around as the room quieted with several of the waitresses stopping to ogle him. "Um, I'll do that in here."

There were several murmurs of disapproval as Chakotay walked away. As he entered the office, he stripped off his shirt and gave it to her. Kathryn cleared the desk and laid it down. Making a few quick passes, she smoothed out the wrinkles on either side before laying the iron in the sink. "There, that will pass Mr. Jackson's inspection."

She fluffed out the shirt and turned back to Chakotay. As she did, her eyes got a good look at his firm, muscled chest. Her approval was obvious and her audible sigh roused him from the fantasies rolling through his mind of what he hoped she would do next.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"No, no, of course not. Here." She threw the shirt at him and then quickly replaced the desk items she had cleared away.

Chakotay buttoned up and put his jacket and vest back on. Picking up the pin, he held it out to her and asked, "Could you fix this again for me?"

Her eyes met his as she took the small piece of jewelry from him. "Of course." Her fingers shook as she fixed his tie and smoothed his shirt before pinning it back in place. "There, you're almost as good as new."

"Almost?"

She fixed his collar. "You'll do. And now as for me…" She walked over to the small mirror hanging above the sink.

His eyes swept over her as she re-did her hair. He took the scarf from her hands and gathered her long hair together in his hands. He re-tied the fabric at the nape of her neck and then leaned over her shoulder. Meeting her gaze in the mirror, he said, "I wish you would always remember this moment, Kathryn."

"Why? Why wouldn't I?"

He hesitated and then turned her around. "Forgive me." His lips pressed against hers and he kissed her just as he had always wanted to. His body began to betray him and he pulled back.

Kathryn steadied herself and tried to catch her breath. After a few moments, she glanced up and then smacked him hard across the cheek. "Don't you ever do that again! Ever!" She took a deep breath and tugged at her dress. "We have to go. Mr. Jackson will be waiting for our report."

Chakotay rubbed the pain in his cheek and in his chest as he watched her leave. Before he could follow, the Doctor shimmered into existence. "Now?" Chakotay demanded. "I've been calling for you for hours and now you show up?"

"Only to tell you that you have less than 48 hours. The Hirogens are ready to flip the switch."

"Flip the what?"

"You're about to become the hunted."

Chakotay watched as Kathryn pulled on her coat and gathered her purse and gloves. "Over my dead body."

"Over all of ours, well yours, if you don't marshal the crew together."

"What about the transmission?"

"Harry's working on it but he's got to do it in between diagnostics and holodeck maintenance. It is going to take time and he may not have enough."

"Then tell him to move. Tardiness is not an option."

"Understood."

"He's got 47 hours." Kathryn met his eyes and he waved her back. "Finally, Doctor, go ahead and…

"There's not time. I have to go."

"What? But Doctor…"

The Doctor's form vanished as Kathryn approached the door. "What, Miller? Are you coming or are you too ashamed to show your face after what you just did to me? If I tell Mr. Jackson, you're toast."

"Toast?" Chakotay stepped out of the office and said, "Since when do you need Mr. Jackson to fight your battles? I thought you could take care of yourself?" She looked away and he added, "I am going to be your hero, Kathryn. You just don't know it yet and you will thank me later."


	7. Chapter 7

Kathryn remained silent on the cab ride to the advertising agency. Chakotay scanned the crowds and noticed more and more of Voyager's crew interspersed with the holodeck characters. A few of those characters returned his gaze with interest and he immediately knew they were being watched, probably by Hirogen point men sizing up their game.

"Never been on this side of the hunt before," he mumbled.

"What did you say?" she asked.

Chakotay tried to take her hand but she pulled it away. "Listen," he said. "I'm sorry about what happened back there but there's a reason."

"I don't want to be familiar with your reasons, Mr. Miller."

"Mr. Miller?"

"I'm not calling you, Captain. If you want some girl to fall all over you, go back to the pub. The war's over. Cheap women and wine are not as free as they used to be."

Chakotay turned. "You are not cheap and if anyone ever degraded you by calling you that they would answer to me."

"Then what do you call what you just did?" She shook her head. "You are such a mystery. One minute you can't be macho enough and the next, you treat me like a lady. Tell me, which one is the real you?"

Chakotay smiled. "Well, partner, you tell me. Which one feels right?"

Her eyes lit up. "Partner."

He nodded. "Partner. And partners trust one another. And I have a feeling you and I are going to have to trust one another very soon."

"Soon? How about now? If you can control yourself, I have some more ideas that I think will help Sam."

"That's not what I meant. I meant life or death situations. I know you don't remember this but it's my job to protect you."

Her eyes widened. "And we're back to the male bravado. Life or death? Miller, the war is over. As much as you would like to relive your glory days and have everyone call you Captain, you're home now. It's time to live in reality and not be stuck over there."

"Reality. Exactly."

The cab stopped and the driver helped them out. A few minutes later, they arrived back at his desk with Mr. Jackson demanding a progress report.

Tuvok stood with his hands clasped as he rocked back on his heels. "I trust Captain Miller behaved himself?"

Kathryn avoided his eyes. "Um, I was able to handle Mr. Miller just fine, thank you, Mr. Jackson."

Tuvok looked over. "Good. But I heard there was some commotion at the Paris brewery. Would you please explain that, Captain?"

Chakotay rubbed his face and tried desperately to remember the hours before his chip was removed but he could not. "I, um, I think everything has been resolved over there. Kathryn?"

"Kathryn?" Tuvok drew himself to his full height. "Is that how we address Miss Janeway?"

She hung up her coat. "We got a little bit informal at the pub, Mr. Jackson, but I am sure Mr. Miller will remember his manners."

Tuvok's eyebrow arched. "Pub?"

"It was a business trip. Mr. Miller here got a very nice establishment to serve Sam's beer."

Chakotay cleared his throat. "Yes, it should make for a very nice business arrangement."

Kathryn nodded as Mr. Jackson said, "If I find out that you take this young lady anywhere but a place that is appropriate for her to be, you will regret it, Captain."

Chakotay bristled. "I assure you that my first and only priority is the safety of our…Miss Janeway will always be treated as a lady with me."

Mr. Jackson's eyes were stern until he glanced at Kathryn.

"I was quite fine with Mr. Miller," she said. "He did treat me like a lady, most of the time."

Tuvok's brow arched. "Most of the time? Miss Janeway, I promised the senior Mr. Paris that you would be safe with Captain Miller. I see now that it was a mistake."

"No," Chakotay said. "It wasn't."

Tuvok appraised Chakotay's combative stance. "I would stand down if I were you, Captain. This is my field of play, not yours."

The elevator doors opened and Tom walked off. He gave Chakotay a withering glance.

"Mr. Paris, we were just talking about your family." Tuvok shook his hand. "Captain Miller was just telling us about a new business deal he has made to help you in these difficult times."

Tom smiled. "Hello, Kathryn."

"Sam."

"Everything okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Everything is fine."

Tom looked at Tuvok. "May I borrow your office for a moment? I'd like to speak to her in private."

"About?" Chakotay asked.

"None of your business, Miller. "

"If it concerns our arrangement, it's absolutely my business."

"Well, it doesn't. That's what private means." He held out his arm to her. "Shall we?"

Kathryn ignored him and walked around the group of men and into the office alone.

Chakotay chuckled as Tom glared. "I'll be back," Tom said. "You and I have some things to discuss too."

Chakotay nodded. "Yes, Tom, we do."

"The name's Sam and I suggest you remember your clients' names or I don't anticipate you will be working here much longer." He threw an arm around Tuvok. "Isn't that right, Jackson?"

"My apologies, Mr. Paris. Captain Miller has shown a distinct need to refresh his professionalism today. It will be rectified immediately."

"See that you get on that." With a smirk, Tom entered the office and closed the door.

Chakotay's fist clenched as he glanced at his watch.

"Late for a client?" Tuvok asked. "If so, it will keep." He pulled out the desk drawer and lifted a heavy book emblazoned with the company logo. Opening it to the first page, he laid it on the desk and rolled a chair towards Chakotay. "Shall we begin?"

Kathryn moved around the desk as Tom stared at her. Placing her hands on hips, she finally demanded, "What?"

He rubbed his chin and said, "I wanted to talk about what happened in my office today."

"What happened was disgusting. Tim was your brother."

"Yes and he's not here anymore."

Kathryn shivered. "Don't say that."

"Why not? A lot of families lost a loved one during the war. Ours was no different despite the fact that it's being completely lost in the news right now. My family is being crucified on the radio."

"Is that what you're upset about? That your brother is dead and no one cares?"

"Yes, it's ticking me off quite a bit. My brother would never have been handed shoddy equipment by my father's company to fly in. You know that!"

"No, he would have been exempt and the other men like Captain Miller would have been sacrificed."

Tom's eyes narrowed. "What is it with this guy? You meet him last night, he's an ass, and you run right to him to be by his side?"

Kathryn crossed her arms. "Only to help you."

Tom sat down in a chair. "Thank you for your sacrifice but I don't need it."

"Oh no? You don't need the beer orders from the pub?"

"My family has plenty of money. And one local bar isn't going to make a dent in my payroll."

"I see. So you're going to live off of your father now? His legal fees or more likely his bribery costs aren't going to be cheap. What makes you think you are even going to make your father's payroll? You're not exactly his favorite son!"

Tom stripped off his coat. He threw it on the desk and took a few steps towards her. "I should hit you for that. You don't want to have anything to do with me because I can't make my own money? You need a better meal ticket, Kathryn?"

Kathryn stepped back. "What are you talking about?"

Tom grabbed her and pulled her close. "I am talking about picking up where my brother left off."

Tom's mouth seared hers and she struggled. "Stop it," she gasped.

Tom drew back but held her firm. "You wanted to be a Paris bride. Well, I'm the only one left to make you one."

She pushed against his chest. "No, I wanted to marry Tim only because I loved him. I didn't care about his family."

"Liar. You wouldn't make a very good poker player, Kathryn. But, it doesn't matter. You can still be one. I know what you want."

Kathryn protested as he pushed her against the wall. Books tumbled around them as Tom's lips latched onto to her neck.

The door flew open and Chakotay pulled him off. With a single punch, Tom went flying and sprawled across the floor. As he jumped up, he pointed at Chakotay and said, "You have no idea who you are messing with!"

Chakotay pushed his hand away. "You're right, you don't. The only thing saving you right now is that chip in your head."

"The what?"

Screams from below distracted them as a large explosion and phaser fire rattled the windows.

Kathryn tensed as she straightened her dress. "What the hell was that?"

"The Commies have bombed us!" Tom rushed to the window. He quickly stepped back as another flash lit up the sky and rattled the building again.

"What is this?" Tuvok asked.

Chakotay grabbed Kathryn and waved the men into the corner away from the large window. "Listen to me and listen well. We're under attack by the Hirogen."

"Who?" Kathryn said.

"Who the hell are the Hirogen?" Tom asked.

"New enemy. Really deadly. Listen to me and I'll get us out of this."

"How?" Tuvok asked.

Another volley shook them as Chakotay covered Kathryn with his body. "Obey my orders." He looked at Tom and said, "Tough for you right now, I know, but how much battle practice have you gotten in this program?"

"This program?"

Chakotay tapped his lapel pin and called out, "Doctor, where the hell was my 47 hours?" The sound of more phaser fire and detonations drowned out his call as the three men and their former captain hunkered down, defenseless, together.


	8. Chapter 8

After thirty minutes of shelling and phaser fire by the Hirogen, the lights in the office building went dark.

"Great!" Tom said. He rose from where they had all huddled away from the broken glass and dusted himself off. "Is this what you did during the war, Captain? Cower in fear? No wonder it took four years to win. Maybe if you had actually fought back, we'd have been done in one."

Chakotay tried to pull him back down but Tom shook him off. "You cannot go out there, Paris. Get down!"

"Sam, please," Kathryn said. "We can't lose you."

"Oh really? Now you care about me?"

"Get down!" Chakotay yanked his shirt and forced him down to the ground.

A large crash outside their door silenced them. Tom knelt and whispered, "What was that?"

"Hirogen," Chakotay answered.

"What is a Hirogen?" Tuvok asked.

"Someone who wants you dead," Chakotay answered.

"Well, then for the very first time ever, I will have to decline a client."

Kathryn shook Chakotay. "What do they want?"

"Us as trophies on their wall."

"What?"

Another loud crash sounded and they fell silent again. Tuvok crawled to his desk.

"Tuvok!" Chakotay whispered.

"What is a Tuvok?" Kathryn asked.

Chakotay hit the ground in frustration. "Jackson, get back here!"

Tuvok slowly opened a drawer and drew out a small pistol. Loading the chamber with bullets, he crawled back and planted himself in front of the door. The knob wiggled and Chakotay ordered them down as he threw himself over Kathryn and Tom.

The door burst open and a large beast aimed a rifle at them. Tuvok unloaded and the Hirogen fell back, blood spurting from his neck. As his large body fell, Chakotay jumped up and grabbed his phaser rifle.

"What the hell?" Tom asked.

"What is that?" Kathryn said.

Chakotay slung the weapon over his shoulder and helped Tuvok up. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I never thought I'd have to use that."

Chakotay grabbed the gun. "Obviously, the holodeck safeties are off which means they are just as vulnerable to us as we are to them. That's something. Do you have any more of these?"

"No and regretfully there are only two bullets left."

"Two bullets?"

Sam took the gun from him and opened the chamber to display the two remaining slugs. "Yep, just two, like he said. Do you have any more ammo in the desk?"

"No. I didn't think the world would end today," Tuvok answered.

"You don't listen to the radio?" Tom asked.

"Where did you get these?" Chakotay asked.

Tom looked up. "You're kidding right? I know the military handed these out like candy but you really don't know where to get ammo?"

Chakotay noticed the captain inspecting the creature and rushed to pull her away.

"Stop!" She studied the Hirogen's face. "This isn't a mask. This is…this is real."

Chakotay grabbed her hand. "Yes, it is. Remember, I told you that you needed to trust me in a real life or death situation? Well, it's here." He squeezed. "I need you to trust me, Captain. And remember, if you can."

"Remember? Remember what?"

Chakotay licked his lips. "You are Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager." He nodded. "Tom is our pilot and Tuvok is our security officer. As you can see, Tuvok hasn't lost his security skills or his protective instinct."

Kathryn's eyes searched his. "What are you talking about?"

"Wow. I think your friend here reads too many comics," Tom said.

Chakotay grabbed her shoulders and shook. "Kathryn, think! They have a chip implanted here in your head that's preventing you from remembering but you have to feel that this isn't right. This whole scenario isn't real. Except this." He kicked at the dead body. "They are very real. They're back and, according to the Doctor, they've taken over the ship. Harry is working to disconnect the chips blocking your memories but we need to stay alive until he does that so we can all work together and take back our ship." He listened to her heavy breathing as she remained silent. "Captain, please!"

Kathryn slowly shook her head. She stared at the Hirogen and then at Tom and Tuvok who had the same skeptical looks on their faces. All of them clearly thought Chakotay had lost his mind. "I, I don't remember any of that."

"Then trust me. You trusted me back at the pub. That's why it happened. That's why we kissed. That's why it felt right."

"You what?" Tom said.

Kathryn stepped back. "No, you forced…I…"

"You son of…" Tom swung on Chakotay but he caught Tom's fist and pushed it back. A second jab and a cross body hit stunned Tom and sent him back to the floor where he was quickly tended to by Tuvok.

"We don't have time for this!" Chakotay turned back to Kathryn. "Captain!"

She held her hands to her forehead. "Stop calling me that!"

He put up his hands. "Okay, but the reason you are having trouble right now is because you know this isn't right. It doesn't make sense. I am making sense. Trust me, please."

Tuvok helped Tom up and sat him in the chair. "It's hard to trust someone who is violent at will. And if you have touched Miss Janeway in any inappropriate way, then, after this is all over, you will be dealt with."

"Convene your court martial on me later, Tuvok." He turned back. "We kissed. And I shouldn't have done that but we felt it. That connection between you and me. We felt it because it's real. You are my Captain and I am your First Officer. We work together, we protect each other, and we care about each other."

Kathryn took a deep breath. "No. I slapped you because I felt ashamed. I shouldn't' have any feelings for anyone other than my fiancé."

"Yes, Mark. Here you are remembering him as Tim but Mark is your fiancé. You were separated from him when you came after me."

She shook her head again. "I don't understand."

"Captain, you don't have to understand. Just trust me. I'm a good man. You believed that otherwise you wouldn't have come here today to find me. You came because you knew I could help you when you were in trouble." He held out his hand. "Let me do that still. Let me help all of you now."

"Why should we trust you?" Tom asked.

"Because I know what we're up against. I know how to defeat them."

Tom rubbed his sore jaw. "So the war hero wants to be a hero once again."

Chakotay extended his hand. "Let's all be heroes. Let's do this together."

Tuvok and Tom exchanged glances before Tuvok gripped Chakotay's hand. "This isn't the first time I've placed my faith in you. I will continue to trust my instinct that our partnership will benefit us."

"It will. That's a promise."

Tuvok looked at the Hirogen he shot dead. "A security officer you say?"

"Yes and not a bad one either."

"Well, you must do your menial tasks well or you must not do them at all."

Chakotay looked at Tom. "I don't know how I'm going to use your flying skills but you're pretty good at bucking the system. I'm betting you can find a safe way to be an irritant to the Hirogen while we take our ship back."

"As much as I like to bet..." He threw up his hands. "What ship? I don't see any."

Chakotay paused. "Think of this world we're in as a ship in a bottle."

"A ship in a bottle? You're on something, Miller. I don't know what they gave you in the war but my brother told me they gave him all kinds of shots. Yours must have been a doozy."

"Your brother was a hero. Why don't you try to emulate him now?"

Tom rose from his seat. "My brother died for people who no longer care about him. I have no desire to emulate that."

"Your brother died trying to help people. And you just want to sit here and be an easy target? If that's your choice, then that's on you."

Chakotay turned back to Kathryn. "Do you trust me?"

She shrugged. "I suppose I have no choice."

"You do have a choice. You can stay with him or you can stay alive with me."

Kathryn placed her hands on her hips. "Then, I choose to stay with Sam."

Chakotay shook his head. "That's not a valid choice."

"It is my choice and you don't have the right to tell me what to do."

"I am entrusted with your safety, Captain." He re-gripped the weapon. "You will stay with me."

Kathryn's eyes swept across the gun. "You're prepared to use that?"

"In any way I have to."

"For us?"

"For all of us, even him."

She hesitated. "Good, then you passed the test."

"Test?"

"Yes. You are a good man, Mr. Miller, especially if you are willing to protect Sam after he's given no indication that he would do the same for you. I suppose there must be something to this story of yours."

"There is and the name is Chakotay."

"Well, I believe you to a certain extent although you do deal in creative license. That I do remember."

"Creative?"

She waved her arm. "You are in advertising. The business of how to separate people from their money, legally by telling them wonderful stories. You've spun a wonderful tale and you've even made me the star in the hopes I'll follow you."

"Captain, it's not a story."

"It doesn't matter. If I am a Captain, then you answer to me."

"Yes. But under the circumstances, I think I should take the lead."

"You want me to abdicate my lead already? Has this been a problem before?"

"It doesn't matter," Tom said.

"Why not?" Tuvok asked.

Tom stood beside Chakotay. "Because he's already won. Everyone knows you always follow the man with the biggest gun. What other choice do we have?"

Tuvok joined him. "Indeed. So, what did you say the name of this ship is that Miss Janeway commands?"

"Voyager," Chakotay answered.

Kathryn pointed the door. "Well then, gentleman, let's go save my Voyager."


	9. Chapter 9

Kathryn and the men made their way down the dark stairway of the ad agency building. Chakotay led the way with his finger on the rifle's trigger with Tom flanking the back with his pistol. As they reached the bottom, Chakotay waved them back and put a finger to his lips. He pushed open the door and peered into the lobby. The area was vacant but littered with newspaper, shattered glass and other debris.

Slowly, he inched out and scanned the outside. The sidewalk and the street looked equally deserted and a mess with overturned and smoking vehicles in ruins. Kathryn walked beside him but he pushed her back.

"Stay behind me," he warned.

"I'm the Captain. I should lead this mission."

"When you remember you're the captain, I'll resign. Right now, stay behind the man with the gun. I will shoot anything that moves in front of me."

Kathryn fell back next to Tuvok as Tom wandered up to the window only to have Chakotay scold him too.

"Relax," Tom said. "I can hold my own." He looked back at Tuvok and said, "You know where the shop is?"

Tuvok nodded and pointed at his weapon. "They know me well."

"Good. We need to get there and get some more fire power."

Chakotay shook his head. "It's too dangerous. We can't just go walking out there."

"I wasn't planning on walking out there," Tom said. "I was planning on walking underneath."

"Underneath?" Chakotay said.

"The train stations!" Kathryn said. "The tracks run underneath in this part of the city. This building has an interior stop. Right through there."

Chakotay followed her finger and noticed a small hallway with subway signs above it. "The shop where you are headed. Does it have an inside station too?"

"Regretfully, no," Tuvok said. "We'd have to make the final leg of the trip outside."

Chakotay shook his head. "Then, it's too dangerous."

"Too dangerous?" Tom repeated. "You prefer to sit here and cower like before?"

"I prefer to stay here and come up with a reasonable plan. I may be able to contact people who will come and help us."

"Really? And they are just going to saunter out into the streets to come and rescue you?"

"They have other ways of helping us."

"These people who can access our chips?" Tuvok said. "I suspect these, Hirogens did you call them, will object to that. I concur with Mr. Paris. I don't think we should stay. We need to at least try and defend ourselves against them."

Chakotay looked over at Kathryn who was listening intently. "Kathryn?"

She looked between the three men and then said, "I agree with them. I think we should try and defend ourselves. I don't want to wait for people who may or may not be able to get to us. You weren't very successful in calling this Doctor. We need to help ourselves."

Tom grabbed Tuvok's arm and said, "Let's go. We'll try and get to the shop on foot. Miller, do whatever you think you need to do to get these people here to assist us. Sound like a plan?"

Chakotay watched Kathryn nod and then said, "No, I'll go with you. The safest place we can be is together. And if it's in a roomful of weapons, all the better."

"If they haven't already been looted," Tuvok said.

"Yes, well…or maybe we could make the weapons useless," Chakotay said.

"Why would we do that?" Kathryn asked. "We need them."

"If we can protect ourselves by getting the safety parameters back online, that would even the playing field. Your weapons would be useless but so would theirs."

"Safety what?" she asked.

"If we can get to the holodeck control panel and access it, we can render the weapons and the Hirogen bombs unable to hurt us."

"You mean make ourselves invincible?" Tom said. "You sure like those science fiction pictures."

"Not invincible," Chakotay answered. "They'll be the same as us. We can't be hurt by their weapons and they can't be hurt by ours."

"Then what would be the point?" Tuvok said. "Judging from their size, I'd surmise that we would be in just as much trouble hand to hand. They really don't need weapons to hurt us."

"It would give us a fighting chance though," Kathryn said.

"Well, since we're doing magic and all of that," Tom said. "Can you make it so the weapons hurt them but not us?"

"It's not magic. It's a computer program."

"A computer? Like the new space program?" Tom asked. "You're really nuts you know that? The next thing you'll do is have us all flying in space."

"That's your job," Chakotay said.

"You need to be locked up in a mental hospital. Look, we're all going to the gun shop. You do whatever magic thing you want to do." He held out his hand to Kathryn. "Come on."

Chakotay stepped in front of her. "We're not separating."

"Watch us, big boy. Now move aside and let the lady pass."

"No," Kathryn said. "I'll stay with him."

"You're nuts," Tom said. "He's nuts. He's going to get you killed with all this nonsense."

"Well then someone has to stay and save him from himself. Go on. Go get what we need to be safe."

Tom shook his head. "No, I won't leave you with him. Look, Kathryn, if this is about what happened before…"

"It's forgotten." She turned to Chakotay. "You better be right about this. Don't send them on a suicide mission if there is another way."

"His plan is a good one but from what I can tell these period guns don't last long."

"Period guns?" Tom said.

"If Harry comes through and they remember who they are, they'll be in the best place they can be to get creative and start blowing the Hirogen away. But you need to be careful. With these, aim direct and try not to damage what you're standing on or around. Believe me, we need it for life support and to get back home. Not to mention the clean up."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever you just said." Tom took her hand. "Please come with me. I don't want to see you hurt."

She smiled and shook her head. "Someone has to stay with him."

"It doesn't have to be you."

"I'm the Captain, remember. Tim would never forgive me if I let his friend go out there alone."

Tom sniffed. "He's no friend. In fact, I doubt they ever met. Besides, my brother would want you with me."

Kathryn laid a hand on Tim's cheek. "I knew him better than you did. Trust me, he'd ask me to take care of his fellow crewman. I just know I have to do this."

Tom glanced at Chakotay and then back at her. He tried to draw her to him but she stopped. "No. You and I are never meant to be anything more than friends, Sam."

"You're wrong about that. And when all of this over, I'll prove that to you." He stepped back and looked at Chakotay. "Anything happens to her, you won't have to worry about any Hirogens. And I won't need any period guns to end your life."

Chakotay held out his hand. "You have my word. I will protect her life with my own."

"See that you do that." With a final glance at her, he turned and walked away with his head held high into the dark train tunnel. Tuvok followed close behind.

Chakotay looked at her. "Are you okay?"

"No. No, I'm not okay. You're spinning crazy stories and we're being attacked by creatures from outer space. I feel like I am caught in a bad science fiction picture just like he said."

Chakotay offered his hand and said, "Well then let's get out of it so we can return to our real lives." He re-gripped the weapon. "Stay behind me. That's an order."

"Where are we going?"

"Back to the pub. I know that's close to the access point where we can get ourselves some help."

"And how exactly do you propose to get us there?"

"Does that train station that lead back in that direction?"

"Yes but it's the opposite way and I don't think it goes through that particular part of the city."

"How close does it get?"

Kathryn thought. "2-3 blocks maybe. I don't know. I usually take a cab."

"Think. What's the closest station near there so we recognize when we need to come up?"

"Well, the warehouse district…that would be…Hennepin Avenue."

"Great." He grabbed her hand. "Let's go!"


	10. Chapter 10

Chakotay and Kathryn made their way through the subterranean tunnel creeping along the ledge beside the steel tracks. Chakotay stopped and took a breath. The dusty, stale air labored his breathing and from the sound of Kathryn behind him, she was also struggling. He swiped an arm across his forehead to bridge his sweat. Even in late fall, the subterranean city was stifling.

He took off his jacket taking care not to dislodge his pin. His frequent attempts at contact continued to be unsuccessful and it worried him. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Kathryn's dress, much like his suit, was soaked through but she gave him a smile. "Yes, it's just hot down here."

"No kidding. I almost wouldn't mind the risk of running upstairs to catch a breath of fresh air. Any idea how far we are from Hennepin?"

Kathryn smoothed some loose strands out of her face and said, "It's the next station."

"Good. Then we're close." He watched her struggle for another breath. "Hey, we can rest. We're safe here."

"Thanks." She let him help her down onto the jacket he piled on top of the cement. She leaned back and relished the cool stone against her skin. "Ah, that actually feels good."

He touched his palm to the cool wall and said, "Yes, it does. I think I'll join you." He swung the rifle down and sat next to her. After a few minutes, he said, "I don't think I've ever heard you this quiet before."

"I'm thinking."

"It's a lot to take in."

"You could say that."

"You excel under pressure, Kathryn. Believe it or not, you've faced bigger and badder things and you have gotten yourself and everyone else through it."

"Everyone else?"

"You're the Captain, remember?"

"Of course." She put a hand to her hand. "Voyager."

He nodded. "Voyager."

She looked at him. "Do I have the white uniform and cap and tie and everything?"

Chakotay opened his mouth and then shut it. He brushed his chin with his fist and said, "It's, uh, it's not that kind of ship."

"Right." She paused and then asked, "Do I want to know what kind of ship it is?"

He patted her hand. "It'll come back as soon as Harry breaks that chip."

"The chip, right. In my head."

He brushed a finger against her temple. "Right there."

She looked at the side of his face. "But you don't have one?"

"I did. The Doctor took it out."

"The Doctor? You mean the one you asked to see this afternoon?"

"Yes."

"He does house calls to the pub?"

Chakotay grinned. "He has a very unique mode of transportation, yes."

Kathryn shook her head. "I don't think I want to talk about this anymore."

"Okay."

They sat together and, then she said, "I think I'm really mad."

Chakotay chuckled. "Wait until you see what the Hirogen have done to your ship. I'm pretty sure there's going to be another level of anger."

"No." She turned and said, "I mean I don't like this. I don't like being so out of control. Not knowing."

Chakotay's smile widened. "Well, there's the Captain Janeway that I know."

She cocked her head. "Just how well do you know me? To me, we met last night but, according to you, that's not true."

"No. You and I met a long time ago."

"When? How?"

"You, uh, you followed me. Well, actually you went after my ship to rescue one of your crewmen. We had an accident and we've been together ever since."

"An accident? What kind of accident?"

Chakotay ran his tongue across his bottom lip. "Let's just say my ship sank and you were nice enough to take me and my crew onto yours."

"Did I rescue my crewman?"

"Yes."

"From you?"

Chakotay nodded.

"Why did I need to do that? Did you threaten me? Why did you take him?"

He grasped her hand and said, "He joined my crew willingly but you wanted him back."

"Then I was a bad captain. Why did he defect?"

"Defect is the wrong word. He joined my crew because he wanted to."

"Why?"

"Probably because you ordered him to."

"Why?"

"Look, you'll remember all of this in a little while. Let's spend our energy on other things."

"No." She grabbed his chin. "You have a lot of details, too many details, for someone who is supposedly nuts. I don't think you're making this up."

"That's because I'm not. I told you that you could trust me. I have never lied to you, Kathryn."

Her eyes darted with his until her hand dropped away. "How would I know that's true?"

He leaned over and put his arm around her shoulder. "You don't. That's why it's called trust. I can tell you that you don't trust easily. But you do trust me. You have overridden your fear of me. You did it this afternoon."

Kathryn stiffened. "That's because I'm not afraid of you."

Chakotay hesitated. "You were when I kissed you today. That's why you hit me. I shouldn't' have done it for many reasons but I deserved to be slapped."

"It was a choice but you didn't scare me."

"Yes I did."

"Only because you don't treat a lady like that."

Chakotay decided to press her. "No, you did it because I scared you. Because for one brief moment you let your feelings out. Your true feelings that I know are there. You have a lot of trouble doing that."

"I hit you because you deserved it. Period."

Chakotay nodded. "That's true too."

"It's the absolute truth. There is no other." She put her head down and fooled with her dress.

"You really miss him, don't you," he said.

"Miss who?"

"Your fiancé."

"Of course I do."

"And outside of Tom and me doing what we did today, he's the last man you allowed to touch you."

"Tom? Oh you mean Sam." She tugged at her skirt. "Tim never touched me. We weren't married yet. I am not that kind of girl."

"Of course."

A few more minutes passed and then she asked, "What's your name again?"

"Chakotay."

"What kind of a name is that?"

"A very special one given to me my father and his tribe."

"His tribe? Chakotay Miller."

He shook his head. "No, just Chakotay."

"I see. So what do I call you?"

"You can call me whatever makes you feel comfortable right now. You usually call me Chakotay or by my title: Commander."

She studied him a few more minutes and then stood up. "I think we better get going."

He jumped up and gathered his jacket and the rifle. "Before we go, I want you to know that I know you don't remember me but I do know you. You are a brave fierce woman, a captain, who always strives to do the right thing even when it's to your detriment. You sacrifice yourself for others. And here you are again sacrificing yourself by keeping the crazy one company. But, know this. I will also sacrifice myself for you. And not because it's my job as your First Officer. I will protect you no matter what, Kathryn. If something happens to me before we get to the pub, I have no doubt that your instincts will carry you through. If I get hurt or worse, you carry on. Go to the back room of the pub. There are people who have access to it who can help you. Wait for them. They'll find you and bring you home. Then all of this will make sense. I promise."

Kathryn listened to his words. "You must know me, Chakotay. I don't know of any stranger that would help someone like you are helping me now."

He smiled. "It's my job, Captain. You're a survivor. And you'll get through this and our crew will be stronger for it."

She took a deep breath. "Okay then, lead the way, Commander."

He nodded and led them forward.


	11. Chapter 11

Chakotay made his way up the dark stairwell, his rifle drawn. "Hold onto me."

"What?"

"Grab my shirt so I know you're still there."

Kathryn grabbed his damp shirt and took the stairs with him.

Chakotay stilled as a noise sounded at the top. The steel maintenance door that led down to the tracks shook. He felt Kathryn's grip tighten. His finger tensed on the trigger and the door shook again.

Suddenly, it flew open and a Hirogen raised his weapon. Chakotay fired but the Hirogen ducked to avoid the stream.

Taking his own shot, the beast hit Chakotay on the side knocking him down the stairs and taking Kathryn with him.

The Hirogen let out a yell of victory and bounded down the steps. Chakotay gasped in pain and quickly righted the butt of his gun. He squeezed off another shot and wounded their attacker.

"Run!" he shouted.

"No!" Kathryn collected a few small rocks by the track and started to pummel the Hirogen in the face. He bared his sharp teeth and aimed his gun at her.

"Coward! She's unarmed!" Chakotay lunged towards the Hirogen and distracted him. The Hirogen's fire wavered and singed Kathryn's arm. Chakotay gritted his teeth at the new pain in his hip and squeezed off another shot. The Hirogen yelped and fell to the ground.

Chakotay gasped for air as he looked for Kathryn in the dimly lit tunnel. He felt her hands come around his shoulders to try and lift him up into a sitting position. As he struggled, the Hirogen made his own gasp for life and moved.

Kathryn grabbed the gun from Chakotay's arms, aimed and fired a fatal shot. As the Hirogen stilled, she dropped the rifle back into Chakotay's lap and went to the side of the body. She lifted and rolled his shoulders until she completely dislodged his gun. Placing it over her shoulder and across her chest, she wiped the blood from her hands on the skirt of her dress. "Are you okay?"

Chakotay gingerly tried to get to his feet. Kathryn helped him straighten up.

"Are you okay?" she repeated.

"Yes. I have to be. Nice shot. It's coming back to you."

Kathryn looked at the black mark on his pants and a spreading red stain. "Can you walk?"

"I can run. Now! Up the stairs!"

She followed his gaze and saw a group of Hirogens heading for them. Phaser fire flew past as she grabbed Chakotay's arm and propelled him towards the stairs.

Chakotay managed to take a few down and force them to take cover as he limped alongside. They finally found the top of the stairs and he forced the door open with brute strength. He let out a yell as his body twisted and the door gave.

"Chakotay."

He shook his head and pushed her in through. He followed her through the small opening and lay back as more phaser fire bounced off the walls. The sidewalk outside appeared deserted and he grabbed her hand. "Shoot anything that…"

A burst of fire from Kathryn's rifle shot silenced him as she blew apart another Hirogen.

"Nice."

"Thanks." She swung the rifle back in front and said, "Let's go. The pub is this way."

Chakotay did his best to keep up with her brisk pace. Both of them took care to stay behind the burned out cars and other vehicles that littered the streets.

"There," Chakotay said. He nodded towards the bar. Its small glass window was blown out and it looked as deserted as the other buildings surrounding it.

"We have to cross the street," she said. "We'll be out in the open."

"Go. I'll cover you."

Kathryn looked at him. "You won't make it on your own. You're injured. You go."

"No offense but you aren't exactly yourself right now. I need to cover you."

Kathryn pointed her rifle at him. "Go now or else."

"Kathryn…"

"Now!"

Chakotay scanned the area and made a dash for the door. Phaser fire erupted from a window just above them.

Kathryn held her breath, aimed and fired. Glass shattered and a lone Hirogen body fell from three stories up. As she watched him fall, her world grew silent and her hands shook. She moved the gun around and aimed for the next attacker.

"Kathryn! Kathryn!"

Kathryn heard her name being called from what seemed like far away. She noticed a hand waving in the distance and took aim.

"No!"

Kathryn squeezed the trigger and watched a man throw himself across the threshold to avoid her fire. Too late, she realized she had fired on Chakotay. "Oh my god. Oh my god." Her voice and body trembled as she made a mad dash across the street in his direction. More phaser fire sounded and bounced around her feet. One clear shot from the pub's open window ended it as Kathryn ran to safety inside.

She ran clear through to the end of the bar and looked back to see Chakotay lying on the floor. "Oh my god. I killed him!"

He struggled to sit up. "No but it wasn't for lack of trying."

She rushed over. "I panicked."

"I know. Just don't do it again." He grabbed his shirt. "Good guy."

She knelt down and hugged him. "I'm sorry."

He felt her body shake as she held him and slowly rubbed his hand down her back. "It's okay. It's over."

Kathryn's body shook as more sobs wracked her body. She clung to him as her emotions poured out. She buried her face in his neck and lay across his chest and in his lap for several minutes until she finally quieted.

Chakotay let his hands comfort her. He rubbed her back and stroked her hair as she lay in his arms. He whispered words of comfort until she finally raised her tear stained face to his. "It's okay," he said. "I'm fine. Let's get into the back and see if we can contact the Doctor."

Kathryn sniffed and wiped her cheeks. She nodded and slowly rose but he yanked her down.

"Stay low. They know we're here so they'll come for us eventually."

She took a deep breath. "Then I guess we better be ready for them."

"Will this help?"

Chakotay and Kathryn jumped as a male voice sounded. Chakotay grabbed the rifle beside him as Tom walked into view with a large box of grenades.

"Where the hell did you come from? What is that?" Chakotay asked.

"This is where you took her then this is where I am. Are you sure you served, big boy? Don't tell me you haven't seen grenades before."

Kathryn looked at the small round object in his hand. "How does that work?"

Tom pointed to the metal clasp. "Yank and throw. Far, far away. When it lands, kaboom!" He knocked his knuckles on the box. "I figure I have enough here to wipe out the block if I need to."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," Chakotay said.

"Why not? I'm feeling kind of heroic."

"Beware of pride before the fall." Tuvok walked out of the back with layers of bullet clips across his chest and a matching long arm rifle by his side. "I upgraded as well."

Chakotay nodded. "I see that. Nice choice."

"It'll do," Tom said. "Not as deadly as these babies though."

Chakotay looked at the broken glass and said, "We need to cover ourselves. Is there any plywood or boxes back there that we can board up this opening?"

"Yeah?" Tom said.

"Good. That way they can't pick us off."

The men nodded and went into the back. They returned shortly with large pieces of wood from the shipping containers in the back and some tools and quickly set to work closing off the pub's opening.

"You got that rifle?" Tom asked.

Chakotay trained it on the sidewalk. "You're covered."

Tom and Tuvok made quick work of boarding up the outside without incident and dropped to the floor. "Snug as a bug in a rug," Tom said. "Sure made it dark in here though."

"Did you cover the back?" Chakotay asked.

Tom sneered. "Already done, big boy. What do you think we did while we waited for you?"

"Good." He grimaced as his movement jarred his hip.

"You need to have that cleaned before you get infected," Kathryn said.

"We need to get to the back office anyway," he replied. "Let's go."

Kathryn helped him up as did Tuvok and they carefully walked him back to where the cot was. Chakotay sat down and let Kathryn bathe his wound with a wet cloth.

"You go and stay with Mr. Paris while I clean him up," she said. "None of us should ever be alone."

Tuvok nodded and exited the room.

Chakotay jumped as she cleaned his hip. "Ouch, that hurts."

"Well, you shouldn't have gotten shot. Now stay still."

He grit his teeth as she redoubled her efforts.

She stopped and said, "You need to take off your pants. I can't see what's hurt."

His breath caught. Uh, no. I know someone who can do it better and faster." Chakotay pressed his lapel pin and called out, "Doctor! Doctor!"

Kathryn crossed her arms and watched him yell for a few minutes before she walked back to the sink and cleaned the cloth. After refreshing it, she returned and said, "Are you done calling for this imaginary physician?"

Chakotay clenched his fist. "He's not imaginary but he will be when I do get through to him."

"Take off your pants," she demanded.

The door opened and Tom walked in. He looked at both of them and said, "Jackson and I will take the first watch. It's getting dark out there and I don't think they'll try anything tonight."

"Probably not," Chakotay said. "But stay alert."

"Will do. Unless you managed your magic that you promised all of us back at the agency?"

Chakotay shook his head. "I'm still working on that."

Tom grinned. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Mental case, I'm telling you."

Kathryn frowned. "Then I better stay with him and make sure he doesn't hurt himself any further."

Tom looked at Chakotay's wound. "Yeah, okay. You play Florence Nightingale. Let me know how that goes. In the meantime, don't forget you have a real man protecting you out here." He slammed the door and his footsteps faded away.

"I think I made a friend," Chakotay said.

"Yes, you did. Now, take off your pants."


	12. Chapter 12

Chakotay lay under the sheets trying to protect his modesty as Kathryn bathed his phaser wound.

"I've never seen anything like this," she said. "It's as if the skin is burned off."

"Yes, that's why I don't want you hit."

She brushed her left arm and the red skin. "I'm glad he missed."

Chakotay sat up. "I didn't know they came that close. Does it hurt?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Just a bad sunburn. I'll be fine. Your injury is worse. Thank you for what you did out there. I…I would have died today without you."

"From what I saw, you can take care of yourself. Just like you said you could."

"Don't be modest. You did save me."

"It's my job, remember?"

"No, I don't. But, I wish I did. I wish I did know you." She smiled as his dimples appeared. "If you don't mind my asking, Chakotay, just how well do we know each other?"

"Pretty well."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Her eyes looked away and she shivered in the cool night air.

Chakotay reached for her. "Hey." She allowed him to pull her close. "We've never been intimate if that's what you are asking."

"Never?" she repeated.

He shook his head. "Strictly professional."

"But you kissed me."

"That was wrong. We've never done that."

"Was it wrong?"

It was his turn to look confused. "Kathryn…"

"You care about me but as more than your captain."

His face reddened. "I, uh, we, well, yes. Yes I do, very much."

"I believe I do too."

Chakotay smiled. "I wish…"

"You wish what?"

"I wish you were really you when you said that to me. I've waited a long time to hear it."

"I am still me. I may not remember my past but I'm still me."

"To a degree, but…let's just say it's a good thing you won't remember this. It will save both of us a very awkward conversation."

Kathryn hesitated but then moved close and captured his lips with hers.

He felt his body stir and he pulled away. "Kathryn," he breathed.

She put a finger up. "I did something today that I never thought I'd do. I shouldn't be here after what happened but I am."

"Kathryn, an adrenaline rush can make you do things that you'll regret…"

"I don't care. I survived because I trusted myself. And I have this feeling that I haven't trusted myself enough, especially with you. You took care of me."

"Kathryn."

Her lips captured his again. She pulled his shirt up and quickly undid his tie. Tossing it aside, the lapel pin clattered to the floor with his shirt beside it.

Chakotay couldn't ignore his body anymore. The pain from his injured hip was a dull ache compared to the more urgent one he had. He lifted her skirt and stroked her inner thighs daring to move closer to where he wanted to be.

She encouraged him and he finally hit his mark. She let out a cry and her hands flew to her face. Her eyes squeezed shut and then opened again to meet his. She grabbed his arms to still his hands while she tried to catch her breath.

"Kathryn? Do you want me to stop?"

She rubbed the side of her head and then shook it. She pulled her hands away and Chakotay spent the next several minutes pleasuring her before he reached up and pulled down her dress. Baring her chest, he marveled at the pale freckled skin and planted several kisses.

She soon collapsed into his arms and he rolled her over onto the small cot. He stripped the dress from her body and laid her as bare as he was. He positioned himself on top and asked, "Kathryn?"

Her eyes shined with lust. "Yes, please, yes."

Chakotay sank into her warm body and covered her mouth with his as she cried out. He was gentle, hampered by his sore hip. Still, it was exactly what they needed and he relished in finally making love to the only woman he had ever truly desired in his heart.

He reached his completion and she came with him until they finally stilled in each other's arms. Their sweat chilled them and Chakotay moved to help Kathryn under the covers. He snuggled against her to warm her body.

"Chakotay," she whispered. "I love you."

Her words plagued him with guilt and his chest grew tight as he realized the liberty he had just taken with her. He closed his eyes and bent his head to hers so he could commit this moment to memory. He wrapped his arms tight.

"Chakotay?"

"Yes?"

She moved under his tight grasp. "Are you…?"

"Never better." He traced her cheek with his thumb. "I'm okay."

She frowned. "I…Do you regret what we just did?"

"Of course not. I could never regret loving you. My only regret is not being a gentleman about it."

"How is that?"

"I just hope you will forgive me when all of this is over."

"Forgive you? What is there to forgive? And what if I don't want it to be over?" She slowly rose up and kissed him.

Chakotay's eyes closed until the building shook with another explosion from outside. "Hirogen!" He struggled to get out of bed.

Kathryn jumped up and grabbed her dress. Throwing her clothes on, she picked up the gun.

The Doctor shimmered into existence in front of her.

"Doctor," she said. "Hirogen?"

The Doctor nodded. "Harry's doing what he can from the bridge but we have to fight."

She pointed to Chakotay. ""He's hurt. Take care of him." She turned and bolted out the door.

"Kathryn!" Chakotay tried to follow her but the Doctor stopped him.

"Stay still," he ordered. "I'll have this healed in no time."

"What…Now?" Chakotay shouted. "_Now_ you pick to come back? Where the hell have you been? I've been calling for you….she, wait, she, she knew who you…" His voice trailed away.

The Doctor finished healing Chakotay's hip. "There. You are as good as new. And, yes, the chips were deactivated 20 minutes ago."

"Twenty minutes?" He grabbed the Doctor's uniform. "But that means…that means…"

"It means you will kindly unhand me and get out there. I will have a uniform sent to you but this one is not your color and we don't have the time."

Chakotay pulled on his pants and his discarded shirt. "Weapons! We need weapons!"

"Harry is arming the crew as we speak." The Doctor handed him a standard issue phaser and Chakotay raced out into the pub. The plywood had been blasted apart and he saw Voyager's crew members now armed battling with the Hirogen in the streets. Tom came running in his direction and yelled, "Get down!"

A large blast rocked the holodeck and threw everyone to the ground. Several bits of the computer generated scenario began to fray revealing the standard holodeck grid. Chakotay lay stunned for several minutes before he rose with Tom's help. Hirogen littered the remaining street and the sidewalks.

"I told you to get down," Tom said.

Chakotay struggled to find his balance. "Th-Thanks."

Tom clapped him on the back. "You're welcome, Chakotay."

Chakotay smiled at the use of his name. "You remember."

"Yeah." He looked at their dirty period clothes and rubbed his head. "I wish I remembered what we were doing about an hour ago."

"You don't want to know."

Tom looked at him. "You mean you know?"

"Yes and trust me. You don't want to know. I just wish I knew how I'm going to fix this."

"Fix what? Captain!" Tom walked up and took her gun. "Are you okay? I tried to deflect the blast to where most of the Hirogen were."

Captain Janeway stared at Chakotay and then scanned the scene. "It worked. You did a good job, Tom."

Harry's voice came over the comm. _"Captain, is everything okay there?"_

"Yes, Harry. You can start beaming these intruders off my ship."

"_We've already sent the bridge and engineering crews packing. I'm on it. Kim out."_

One by one the Hirogen bodies started to disappear around them. Kathryn yanked at the scarf in her hair and dusted herself off with it. Bits of dirt and other debris fell from her dress to the ground as she tried to put herself back into some sense of dignified fashion.

"Nice look," Tom said.

Her eyes focused on Chakotay as she straightened her skirt and retied her hair. "Tom, once Harry is done, have him come down and both of you take a team to do a preliminary damage report. I need to know how bad this is."

"Aye, Captain."

Tom walked away and Janeway crossed her arms. She looked at her First Officer. "So, did I hear correctly? You were aware of everything the whole time? Even before we…?"

Chakotay rubbed his neck and avoided her gaze. "Captain, I…"

"Answer me. Look at me."

Chakotay took a deep breath and raised his head. "I'm sorry."

She gasped. "You knew. You knew that… I…we…I…" She took a deep breath. "This isn't happening."

"Captain…"

He reached for her but she slapped him away. "Do _not_ touch me. Was that all we…."

Chakotay hung his head.

She paced and then said, "I went a full, detailed report on everything and I mean everything that happened. That's an order, Commander."

"Understood, Captain."

She gave him one more hard look before exiting the holodeck.


	13. Chapter 13

After a thorough inspection and plans for repairs well underway to Voyager, Captain Kathryn Janeway retired to her quarters. Peeling off the dirty polka dot dress, she tossed it into the recycler and sank into her hot bath. Parts of her body ached, some expected from her physical activity and others not so expected from more intimate activity. Her mind drifted back to the moment when she had regained her consciousness and found her First Officer with his hands under her dress.

Her breath caught remembering his touch. At first, she didn't believe it was real. It was only a fantasy coming to life in her dreams or a holodeck program she hadn't remembered turning on. Never once did it ever cross her mind that she was giving in to the real thing. True or…? She could have stopped him. She did stop him but then she allowed it to continue.

A pang of guilt hit as she realized that she was laying blame squarely on Chakotay's shoulders and she wasn't quite sure it belonged there. Part of her was angry to overhear that he was aware of what was real and what was not before she did. She couldn't fathom him taking advantage of her while she was incapacitated. Yet he did. And she could not deny there was a small part of her inner self that was ecstatic that he did.

She closed her eyes and remembered their intimate act. It was just as it should have been. Chakotay being gentle yet passionate and loving her the way he knew she wanted and needed to be loved. He expressed his sincere love for her and made sure that there was satisfaction both in the act and in the emotion of it. He took care of her just like he had since the day he joined her crew and put back on the Starfleet uniform. She couldn't imagine he would betray her especially in the most intimate way.

She took a washcloth and slowly brushed her skin. A trip to sickbay would have probably eased the phaser burn and healed most of the scratches and bruises from the attack but she preferred the alone time to think. And she knew the Doctor would enforce a mandatory check up tomorrow.

Her door chimed and she opened her eyes. "Computer, who is outside the Captain's Quarters?"

"_Commander Chakotay."_

A chill came over her in the hot bath and she quickly rinsed off. Stepping out, she dried herself and quickly donned a nightgown tying a silk robe over it. She wrapped her wet hair up in her standard bun and went to the door.

She watched Chakotay's eyes widened as the door slid open to reveal her current state of attire. "Commander," she said.

He cleared his throat and averted his gaze. He held out a padd and said, "I thought you would want this right away."

She took the padd from his hand. "This is your report in full detail?"

"Yes, Captain. I left nothing out."

"Good."

He nodded. "Well, I will let you get back to your evening. I took the midnight bridge shift if you need anything."

He turned to go until she said, "Harry and the Doctor were quite the heroes."

"Yes, they were. You'll see my recommendations for their commendations in the log."

Kathryn fingered the padd. "Thank you."

"Good night, Captain."

He walked towards the lift and she closed the door. She moved over to her desk and downloaded the report into the computer. "Computer, play audio of Commander Chakotay's report."

The computer beeped and Kathryn listened as Chakotay recounted finding himself in the back room of the pub with the Doctor and being told of the grave danger they were all in. She heard him recount her overindulgence in drink and the care he took to remedy it. She froze as he mentioned their first kiss. A moment she wanted desperately to recall.

"_At that moment, I was looking at the woman I loved. A woman who I knew I could not have because of ship protocol. But, there she was in an alternate reality and I needed to know what it would be like to love her, just once. I could barely stand her touch when she smoothed my period clothes to make me look the part. It was done with innocence and a tenderness that I only wish I had reciprocated and not taken the latitude that I did. An advantage I never would have taken under normal circumstances. I won't record here that I regret what happened. My only regret that was expressed to her at that moment was that she would not remember our first kiss. I cannot and do not regret finally expressing my love to the first woman who has ever made me feel at peace. Afterwards, I was duly slapped for my advance which I absolutely deserved and more."_

Kathryn listened to his confession and gasped when she heard Chakotay speak of hearing her yell after Tom had apparently done the same thing later in the day. She paused the recording and went to the mirror. Staring back at her was the fresh face of a mature woman who did not appear to be a young ingénue two grown men would fight over. "It would almost be flattering if it wasn't so wrong."

Her mind wandered back to Chakotay. He did not act rashly among the female crew members. He had acted only once that she knew of and he had kissed her. He had kissed her and meant it. She stared at her reflection and then walked back to the desk.

"Resume audio."

Chakotay's log continued with the first attack by the Hirogen and their escape underground back to the pub where it all came full circle. She grew teary when Chakotay described her breakdown after tangling with the Hirogen in the streets and her honest reaction after almost killing him. She had let herself express her true emotions. The fear of battle. The thrill of survival. The danger of what was yet to come. The horror of almost losing him. She shivered. And he had helped her through all of it.

"_After a necessary state of undress, the captain cleaned and dressed my wound. Then, she looked at me. I allowed the captain to kiss me in her altered state. That was inappropriate. She stated she wanted to take a risk and I bear the responsibility of taking that risk with her and not ending it right there. We became physically intimate. I was fully aware of what I was doing and the consequences of it. I took advantage of my captain in the worst possible way and with the worst violation of trust. That is not the officer nor the man I choose to be or that I believe I am. It was somewhere within that time period that the Captain's chip was inactivated and her account of events should suffice from there. In conclusion, I would like to offer the only remedy that there is in this situation and that is my resignation as First Officer of the Starship Voyager. Due to our unique circumstances, I will leave the termination date and the status of my presence aboard this vessel to her discretion."_

The computer signaled the end of the report and Kathryn sat back in her chair. Chakotay's declaration of love for her and his subsequent resignation played again in her head. He was protecting her taking complete and full responsibility for all of it even though she had become an integral part before the inevitable happened. The chip had been inactivated and she knew something was not right as she became aware of him stroking her with his fingers. But she had let it continue just as Chakotay had because of the pleasure in it and the inherent rightness of it.

So how much of the responsibility truly rested on him? She was an innocent when it began but was no innocent when it continued and certainly not when it ended. He had asked her permission before he entered her and had asked for her forgiveness afterwards. Fully cognizant at both times, she wasn't so sure she didn't need some forgiveness herself.

Her guilt and confusion became interspersed with her remembrance of his words of love whispered throughout their intimate act. She had reveled in every bit of it. A man loving her again was more than she ever thought she'd have after being lost in the Delta Quadrant. She covered her face and shook her head. "Stop!"

She took a few deep breaths and looked around the room. Her heart raced as did her thoughts with all of the possibilities of where to go from here and what choices she needed to make; both for the ship and for herself. She put her head down on the desk and lay still desperately wishing for the easy answer but none came.


	14. Chapter 14

After a restless night, Captain Janeway made her way to the bridge. Chakotay had already relieved himself no doubt out of courtesy to her and to avoid an uncomfortable scene in front of their Security Chief. Only Tuvok had access to their personal logs besides themselves. She received an update on repairs and was pleased that Voyager was on her way to being back in top shape with no trace of her experience. If only the humans on board recovered that easily, she thought.

Her bridge duty was uneventful but her mind would not allow her to avoid it any longer. She retreated to her ready room.

"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."

"_Commander Chakotay is in the holodeck."_

"What?"

"_Commander Chakotay is in the holodeck."_

She took a deep breath and said, "Bridge to Commander Chakotay."

"_Chakotay here."_

"Please report to my ready room at once."

"_Acknowledged."_

Knowing he was on his way, she smoothed her hand over stray strands of hair and then over her stomach to calm her nerves. She paced around her desk until the chime sounded.

"Come."

Chakotay entered and took a formal stance. "Captain."

She let out the breath that she realized she was holding in. "Commander. At ease."

His shoulders dropped slightly. "That's a little difficult under the circumstances, Captain."

She ran her fingers across the top of her computer. "Yes, I read your report. Were you in the holodeck reliving old times?"

"No, Captain," he said firmly. He watched her lower her gaze. "I was checking on repairs. They are satisfactory."

"You sound like Tuvok."

"I apologize?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose and said, "Look, Chakotay, we need to talk about this."

"With all due respect, Captain, I'd rather just cut to the chase and find out my date."

"Your date?"

"The date you want me off this ship."

She sat down in her chair and gestured him to do the same. "You really believe I would strand you out here?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't but I would understand if you did."

"Would you do that to me if our positions were reversed?"

"Of course not, Captain. I…"

She leaned forward. "Yes?"

"As I said in my report, I have no pains about why I did what I did. I only dislike how it was done and I especially hate that you regret what happened."

"Who said I regretted it?"

Chakotay flinched. "What? But you're upset."

"You don't believe I'm entitled to be?"

He shifted in his chair. "Actually, Captain, I think you're not being honest." He watched her stiffen. "Okay, I'll start," he continued. "I love you. Even though I know that, as my Captain, that is entirely inappropriate to say and to act on. We've skirted the issue over and over despite how I know you feel."

"You know nothing about what I feel, Commander."

He looked her straight in the eye. "I know exactly how you feel. The way you reacted in my arms yesterday to what I did, what we did, together…"

Kathryn jumped up and slammed her hands down on the desk. "Stop it!" Her fast breath in and out echoed in the silence. Her hands trembled and she sat back down. She rubbed her face and said, "I can't do this."

"Kathryn…"

She put a hand up. "Don't speak. That's an order."

The silence stretched until he said, "Since I have resigned my position on this ship, I'm not going to obey that order."

She watched him rise and lean over her desk.

"You can't order me not to love you."

"I can order you not to act on it."

His eyes softened. "You don't have to order me to do that. I can control myself. I would never do that to you."

"Then what do you call recent events?"

He stepped back and sat down. "You know you do owe me one answer."

Her brow arched. "Do I?"

"Yes." He stroked his chin and asked, "Exactly when did you know what was going on between us?"

Kathryn picked up a padd. "I don't have to answer that."

"No, you don't but I'd rather hear it from you than reading it in a report."

She looked back. "You're no longer the First Officer on this ship. You have no access anymore. Computer, delete…"

"Coward."

"Excuse me?"

He leaned across the desk again. "The woman I have known for years and the woman that you were in that simulation were brave. They knew what they wanted and they went after it. For the first time ever, you've lost your bravery, Kathryn. And I don't understand why. Am I that frightening to you? You can't tell me you don't have feelings for me. That is the only thing that would explain what's going on here but it's not true, is it?" He waited and then pounded his fist on the desk. "Talk to me! For once in your life, talk to me and be honest. I deserve that much respect."

She rose. "You mean the same respect you showed me by taking me to bed?"

"You enjoyed every minute and I have no doubt you have thought about it since then and in very glowing terms." She slapped him. He steadied himself and touched his cheek. "Good, get it out. I deserve that and more but you still haven't answered my question and I think I know why."

She shook her head and pointed to the door. "You're dismissed, Commander. Get out!"

"I don't think so."

He walked around her desk until he stood in front of her. "I will call security," she warned.

He moved closer. "When were you aware of what was going on in that room, Kathryn?"

"It's none of your business. I said get out!"

Her hand flew to her badge but he stopped her in mid-air grabbing her wrist and forcing her to look at him. "When? Actually, I think I already have it figured out. All of this anger isn't just for me. It's for you. You're angry because you chose to let it happen."

"You, you took advantage of me…."

Chakotay squeezed her arm. "Don't you dare say that. I would never…"

"What would you call it then?" Her blue eyes darted with his. "And here you are again, forcing me, in an unauthorized…"

"Cut the bull, Kathryn! Stop it! Just stop it!" He dropped her arm and grasped her shoulders to literally shake her. "Stop hiding behind protocol and your Starfleet dictionary and talk to me! Right now! Just talk to me!"

"Take your hands off of me, Commander!"

"No. You will talk to me. Me. Chakotay. Not to the Commander. Not to your First Officer. To me. Please."

"What do you want me to say? That what you did was okay? Do you really believe I should have absolutely no problem with what you did? You knew I wasn't me!"

He nodded. "Yes. But then you were. When did you know it was me, Kathryn?"

She tried to pull away but he held her tight. "It doesn't matter," she said. "You had already put me in a position where I couldn't say no."

"What?" His voice broke and his eyes clouded. "You mean…while we…while we were…" His hands dropped away. He glanced at her one more time before he said, "Effective immediately, I'm confining myself to quarters."

"Chakotay…"

"No, Captain. I thought…I could have sworn that it was earlier before we actually….I understand. I'm sorry." Quickly, he exited the ready room and was gone.

Kathryn struggled. Chakotay thought that she had regained her memory during the act but she knew it had been before it had ever gotten to that point. He had asked her permission before that. And she gave it.

Her door chimed again and she jumped. "Come."

Tuvok entered. "Do you require any assistance, Captain?"

"No, Tuvok. Why?"

"Commander Chakotay did not look well. He mentioned you may require additional security."

"Security? For what?" As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew what he had meant. She sighed and said, "I'm fine, Tuvok. I….the Commander and I have a few things to work out."

"Yes, I read his report and…"

She put up a finger. "No one is going to the brig. No one is being court martialed. Your objection is duly noted. Anything else?"

"No, Captain." He paused and then added, "May I recommend a demerit in the Commander and Mr. Paris' personnel files?"

She smiled. "No, Tuvok. Mr. Paris is not responsible for what he did under the influence of another. And besides, how do we know you behaved yourself the whole time?"

Tuvok became uncomfortable. "I believe if I had acted in an inappropriate manner, I would have had some sense of it and rectified it at once. Fortunately, I have no such idea. Permission to return to my post, Captain?"

Kathryn listened. "What if you did do something that wasn't easily rectified, Tuvok?"

He thought a moment. "The correct response is to atone, rectify what is possible, and learn from the experience. What else is there to do?"

She looked at her friend. "What if you can't? What if it's beyond your ability to fix it?"

"Captain, may I ask, are you inquiring for Commander Chakotay or for yourself?"

She gave him a small smile. "Both."

"You and the Commander have known one another for quite some time. You have a history and a close relationship. It is a necessary and very beneficial aspect to running this ship."

"But?"

"There are no buts, Captain. I will only submit that it would be an inconvenience to all of us if that was lost."

"Inconvenience?"

"Put simply, the crew would suffer for it."

"Then what do you recommend?"

"That is a question only you and the Commander can answer. I will only submit that you came together once because of forced circumstances and both of you have done an exemplary job overcoming all of the adversity you have faced since. Most likely because you did it together."

"Together," she repeated.

"Do not misunderstand me, Captain. I do not concur with the Commander's recent actions but I must confess that, in reading all of the accounts of the events on the holodeck, all of us stayed true to our character. We may have assumed other identities and roles but we did not deviate from our natural inclinations."

"So you believe that anything that happened occurred with our true selves intact?"

"I believe circumstances played a part. But I do not believe that we could have been forced to do something that was entirely against our nature. All evidence as far as I can surmise is that all crew members adapted to the period simulation as they normally would. Our actions were voluntary even under the influence. They had to be. To program us otherwise would not have presented much of a challenge for the Hirogen."

"I see," she said quietly.

"Captain?"

"Thank you, Tuvok. Permission to leave granted."

He headed for the door. "Captain, the Commander's actions…"

"…were encouraged." She looked at the pensive Vulcan and said, "This is between us, Tuvok. I…My chip was deactivated before things got to where they ended up."

Tuvok nodded. "Then, Captain, I would not regret an action I had voluntarily chosen to take. It would be illogical."

She nodded back and returned to her desk as Tuvok took the bridge.


	15. Chapter 15

The Captain made her way down the hallway to her quarters. As she approached Chakotay's door, she stopped. Her conversation with Tuvok had made her consider all of the possibilities and all of the consequences over her last few hours of bridge duty.

"Captain!"

She jumped and turned to see Mr. Paris hurrying towards her.

"Listen, I, um, I wanted to say I was sorry."

"What did you do, Mr. Paris?"

"Well, Tuvok kind of hinted that I may not have behaved myself in the holodeck while we were…"

"Not ourselves?"

Tom nodded.

"I was under the impression only Mr. Tuvok had access to the senior officer reports."

"Yes, he is. I guess that's why he said something and gave me that look I get whenever I'm in trouble. It's a look I understand so I thought I'd come and say I'm sorry for whatever I did. Or didn't do."

"Tom?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Apology accepted."

"Thank you, Captain."

She crossed her arms. "Tom, none of us are responsible for what we did while we were without our normal thoughts and decorum intact."

He grinned. "Yeah, well, I've used a lot of excuses in my life for my bad behavior. I just wanted you to know that I don't remember what I did but, whatever it was, it was truly unintentional."

"I know." She paused and then asked, "But what if you did a good thing that was just unexpected?"

He folded his arms. "Okay, what exactly did I do?"

She shrugged and patted his arm. "I wish I knew. I'm afraid I don't have much of a recollection either."

"Yeah but you've read the report." He relaxed. "Well, then I'd like to think that whatever I did was very much appreciated. Tuvok probably just read it wrong."

"Let's go with that."

Tom left the hall as Janeway's attention returned to the door in front of her. With a shaky hand, she pressed the panel.

The door slid open and Chakotay stood before her still dressed in his uniform. "Captain."

She looked at his clothes. "I thought you quit."

"I haven't had a chance to undress yet."

"You've been gone for hours."

Chakotay glanced back. "Has it been that long?"

"Yes." She looked into the room. "May I come in?"

He hesitated but then moved aside. "Of course."

She walked past and admired the native décor Chakotay had furnished his quarters with. "It's so you."

"Captain?"

"This room is so unique. I like what you did with it."

"Thank you. But you've been here before."

She walked to his dining table and ran her hand across the top. "Yes. And we've spent a lot of time in this room, talking, for hours."

"Captain?"

She turned and said, "We need to talk. Really talk this time, Chakotay."

"Captain, I…"

She held up her hand. "Before we…I…laid down in that bed with you…" Chakotay waited as she took a deep breath. "My chip was deactivated before you and I were together not during the act or after."

His shoulders dropped in a visible sign of relief. He put a hand to his chest. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry that I made you believe any differently."

He eyed her. "Why?"

She ran her hand across the table again. "I, I was unsure. Honestly, I'm still unsure about everything that's happened."

"I'm sorry."

"That doesn't fix anything, Chakotay. You and I…we can't take this back."

"I don't want to take it back."

Her blue eyes hit his. "Well, what if I do?"

Chakotay walked to the sofa and sat down. "Then I would understand why you would want to do that. I wouldn't agree with it. But I would respect it. Kathryn, I won't…I can't force you into a relationship you don't want. I want it and I want you. But if you don't, then my offer still stands. I will resign my position. I will leave the ship. I will try my best to return to duty and put this behind me and act only professionally towards you. I'll do any of those things."

"You've already resigned," she said quietly.

"Yes. And I will resign and marry you if that's what you need to be okay with having me in your life."

"That would never work."

"We haven't tried it."

"I don't want to try it. It's not a good idea."

"Us or my resignation?"

Janeway took a deep breath and stared out into space. After a few moments, she said, "I need my First Officer on this ship."

Chakotay nodded. "I can be that. I want to be that."

She bit her lip. "Strictly professional."

He frowned. "And what if I'm not able to do that?"

"You just said you could."

He rose and paced a bit. "Kathryn, you're asking me to work next to the woman I love and not express it."

"Well, I'm sorry. But what do you want? Are you proposing we amend our bridge decorum to include public displays of affection?"

"Yes, Captain. I'm suggesting that I take you, crew or no crew, at least once a day in your ready room and in the Captain's chair every bridge shift."

Her mouth dropped open in shock and titillation at his words. "I think that's highly inappropriate, Commander."

He moved close. "What's highly inappropriate is you. Make a decision, Kathryn. I made love to you because I love you. And you made love to me because you wanted to. All by yourself. Now be a big girl and own that!"

"Watch your tone with me!"

He threw out his hands. "I resigned, remember? I can speak to you in any manner I damn well please." He unzipped his jacket and tossed it aside. "No badge." He undid his rank insignia and also threw it on the table. "No rank. So, now, what do you want? You. Not the Captain. You, the woman. Tell me!"

She looked for someplace, anyplace, to escape but he blocked her only way out. "I…I don't know."

"Yes, you do. What do you want? I'm a big man. I can take whatever answer you want to give me as long as it's an honest one."

She raised her chin. "Even if it's one you don't want to hear?"

He nodded. "Honesty. That's all I'm demanding here, Kathryn."

She shut her eyes as she pressed her forehead. "I honestly don't know, Chakotay. That's my honest answer. I just don't know."

"Then talk to me. What's on your mind that you won't let me hear?"

"Okay. First, you took advantage of me. I came to, not in the middle of the final act, but far enough into it that your hands were all over me. Places they shouldn't have been."

He nodded back. "That's what I thought."

"Then you admit what you did."

"I knew your chip had been deactivated only when the Doctor appeared and you recognized him. He said the chips had been down at least 20 minutes which puts your awareness well before we did what we did."

"Before the main event, maybe. But, I didn't know how to stop your hands under my dress."

"You did stop me, Kathryn. You cried out and then you grabbed me and made me stop. And when I asked if we were done, you encouraged me to keep going."

"No."

"Yes. It's the truth. And if you regret doing that, if you believe that I think any less of you because you jumped right in with me, don't. I honor what you did. I honor that you trusted me enough to share yourself with me, no questions asked. Why do you think I'm pushing you so hard right now? You consciously allowed yourself to be intimate with me that day on every level and you enjoyed it and me. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. That's why I won't let you back away from me now. What happened between us was real."

"I know." She wiped a few stray tears. "This is hard for me."

He took her arm and could feel her tremble at his touch. "Why?"

She shook her head and moved away. "Because you have no past, Chakotay. But I do. I have a man, a fiancé, I am supposed to marry…"

"Kathryn, I know you know that at this point…"

"Don't. Please don't. I know you're right but please don't say it."

"Kathryn, we can't undo the past. We're here now. And someday we'll be home again but that's probably not going to be for a very long time. Everyone else has already started…"

"I'm not everyone else."

"You are a member of this crew. You're the leader and I'm the second in command. But beyond that we are so much more. We are two adults who have a life and deserve a life outside of our bridge duties."

She took a deep breath. "Chakotay, I do want to live that life. But, I just…I need to…"

His eyes lit up and he grabbed her. "Date me?"

"What?"

"Date me, Kathryn. We jumped right to the end so let's do this the right way and rewind."

She shook her head. "You scare me."

"No, I don't. You scare you. That's your own fear talking."

"No, I mean, every time you do this, you frighten me. You can articulate my thoughts better than I do."

He grinned. "A good quality to have in a First Officer. And in a date?"

She crossed her arms. "You're not my First Officer."

"Does that mean I get the date?"

"On one condition."

His dimples appeared. "Name it."

She picked up his discarded rank insignia. Pinning it to his collar, she said, "Be my second in command again."

"On one condition."

"Yes?"

"You agree that I am the first in command away from the bridge."

"Chakotay…"

"You did say I know you better than you know yourself."

"I did not say that…"

"Are we having our first fight?"

She stifled a smile. "_If_ I choose to go on this date with you, you and I will be equal partners."

He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. "Of course. That's the only kind of woman I want, Kathryn. I only meant that I would plan our time together off duty because, if I wait for you, it'll never happen. I'll be old and gray."

She brushed the hair at his temple. "You're already a bit gray."

His thumb brushed her cheek. "I wonder why."

"Tomorrow night then after our shift," she said. "Dinner. Here?"

"Or I could find a nice program…" He caught her stormy eyes and quickly added, "Here is good. I think we'll just leave the holodeck to itself for a little bit."

"For a long time," she answered. "Good night, Commander."

"Good night, Kathryn. I'll see you tomorrow on the bridge."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: For murphycat: You were patient long enough!**

The next day, Janeway and Chakotay passed their bridge shift in a professional manner although she did notice the few sly grins Chakotay sent her way. She met them with looks of disapproval especially after Tom caught one. To her relief, he was quickly chastised by Tuvok for his outside interest under the Vulcan's watchful eye.

Janeway left her shift without the company of her First Officer to continue to avoid any appearance of impropriety. She returned to her quarters and bathed quickly before finding herself at the foot of her bed with several articles of her clothing strewn about.

"This is crazy," she said. "He's already seen you undressed. Just pick something."

She selected a blue tunic over a pair of casual pants and wound her hair up in its usual manner. Pinning her combadge to her chest, she fixed a pair of small stud earrings in place and completed the look with soft makeup. Appraising herself in the mirror, she remarked, "I suppose I'll do."

She checked the time and exited her quarters. She entered the lift and called for Chakotay's deck before stepping out and making her way to his door. She chimed and the door slid open. The aroma of cooked vegetables wafted out. Chakotay stood before her in his uniform pants and undershirt.

She noticed his jacket draped across a chair and turned away. "I'm too early. I'll let you…."

Chakotay grabbed her arm. "Leave and I'll stun you."

She allowed him to pull her inside and looked at the table dressed in linen and lit candles. "You went all out," she said.

"Thank you for noticing."

He spooned stew from a boiling pot into two stoneware bowls. "You actually cooked without a replicator?" she asked. "That's not one of Neelix's concoctions, is it?"

He grinned. "I finally got you to my quarters for unprofessional matters. I want you to survive the night."

"Thank you and I'm touched."

"Not yet but we'll get to that." He brought the bowls to the table and set them down before he pulled out her chair. "Dinner is served."

Their conversation was light and the meal was delicious. By the end, both of them were enjoying themselves and Chakotay reached across and took her hand. "This is nice," he said.

"Yes, it is."

He intertwined his fingers with hers. "So are you okay with all of this?"

"I'm learning to live with it."

He rose from his chair and helped her up. "Can you live with this?" He kissed her.

Kathryn lost herself before her mind flashed back to the pub when she first found herself like this in his arms. She pulled back.

Chakotay searched her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing." She pulled herself away and sat back down.

"Kathryn…."

She put her hand up. "Don't. I'm sorry, Chakotay. I really am but I can't do this in front of the crew."

"The crew isn't here. Believe it or not, there are some things I'd rather not have an audience for either."

"Then you agree? Behind closed doors, you and I can do this. But out there, we absolutely cannot."

Chakotay put his hands on his hips. "I won't treat you like some cheap thrill, Kathryn."

"Of course not."

"Because it's not happening."

"I know that! But I just can't go skipping down the halls like a teenager."

"No one is asking you to skip anywhere, Kathryn, or be unprofessional. I am only demanding that you be an adult."

"I am not your child, Chakotay! Do you think that I can only be in this relationship on your terms?"

"Yes! And my terms are as my equal. As the woman I love and will absolutely treat with respect at all times."

"Well that respect is currently lacking and if it's honesty you want then here it is. I really don't know if I can do this."

"But you can act like a tramp and just jump in my bed every other night?"

She slapped him across the face.

He rubbed his cheek. "I'm getting a little tired of being hit."

"Then stop saying things to deserve it."

He blew out the flames and cleared the table. "I hope you enjoyed tonight, Kathryn. I'll see you on the bridge at 0800 hours." He turned away.

"You're kidding. That's it? This is all over?"

He gathered the linen, bowls, and utensils and placed them in the recycler before laying the candles back on his altar. "Good night, Kathryn."

She watched him disappear into his bedroom and a flash of anger ran through her. Marching into his private area, she said, "You're serious? This is how we end things? Now who is the child taking his toys and running away?"

He pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the dressing table. "I'm sorry. Was there something else I can get for you?"

"You begged me to come here tonight. To take a leap of faith. I did that."

He sat on the bed and removed his boots before he stripped off his pants leaving him clad only in his boxer shorts. "Yes, you came here. But a leap of faith? That I am still waiting for."

"Oh really?" She crossed her arms. "Would you mind showing me this list of rules and your appropriate code of conduct for me? I'm getting a little tired of being judged by you."

He stood up. "I'm not judging you. I asked you to come here with an open heart and mind and you did that for exactly one hour while we ate and you enjoyed yourself immensely. Just like you did on the holodeck. But then you shut down like you always do and started compartmentalizing exactly how we should hide."

"I have this ship to think about, Commander."

"It's Chakotay right now and so do I!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"Why did you come here tonight, Kathryn? If you don't want to be in a relationship with me, just say it!"

"I said I did!"

"Sneaking in and out of my bedroom is not what I had in mind!"

"I did not sneak…." She looked around. "I walked in here."

"Yes, you did. Why?"

Her eyes widened as she noticed his full state of undress. His smooth muscled chest and the golden brown skin glistened in the darkened room. Her finger reached out but stopped just before it touched his skin

"Don't," he said. "Don't come near me if you don't mean it. You and I are both fully aware of everything now. All of our cards are on the table."

She rubbed her fingers together. "You're pushing me to take a step I'm not ready to take."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I want to be. I want to do this with you. But…"

"But?"

"I'm not ready to share my private life with the crew. I just can't do it. And if that is a deal breaker for you then I guess you're right. This won't work."

"I'm not asking you to make a ship wide announcement. I'm asking you to loosen up and not panic if Tom or anyone else catches my smile."

She threw up her hand. "That's just it! I don't want to be the talk of the mess hall every night. I won't allow that!"

"Well, I've got news for you. You already are on the hot list of topics on this ship and will continue to be for a very long time. It comes with the title of Captain."

She put her hands on her hips. "What does that mean? What have you heard?"

He chuckled. "Two words, Kathryn. New Earth."

"Nothing happened between us on that planet."

"Don't remind me. It was the longest month of my life."

"I never heard any gossip about that."

"That's because your crew respects you. And they still do. Why can't you trust that?"

She took a breath and pressed her hands together. "They really talk about me?"

He bit his lip to stifle another laugh. "Yes. They really do. And most of it ran along the lines of being very happy for us."

"You're making that up."

"No, I'm not. They were very happy that you and I finally got some alone time together."

She slapped his arm. "This isn't funny, Chakotay."

He bristled at her touch. "Ask Tom if you don't believe me. He actually won quite a bit of money on the betting pool."

"The what?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her close. He could see the true emotion in her eyes as she looked up at him and it belied her words. "Or, on second thought, don't. This is why you're really here." He leaned close to nuzzle her ear.

She whimpered under his caress. "Chakotay? No."

"Yes," he breathed.

She felt her knees buckle as his teeth nipped. "Okay. I'll authorize a smile but that's it. No touches. No I love you's. Nothing that can be misconstrued when anyone else is around us."

He planted kisses down her neck and shoulders. "Done. Any other orders?"

She grabbed his chin. "I mean it."

"Kathryn, I know how to be a professional. I've loved you for the better part of two years and you never picked up on it, did you?"

She returned a chaste kiss. "Yes, Chakotay, I did."

His hands went around her waist. "Then show me what you think about when you think about me and how I feel about you." His hands dipped lower and strayed under her tunic to caress her bottom. He hooked the waistband and slowly drew her pants down. He pulled her shoes off and helped her step out her clothes. He threw the pants aside and ran his hands back up her bare legs.

She shivered. "Chakotay."

He hushed her and slowly brought his hands up. He caressed and felt her respond to his intimate touch after just a few minutes. Her soft murmurs of approval and intermittent gasps thrilled him as he worked.

Her hands suddenly hit his shoulders. "Stop!" she demanded.

"No, not yet." He kissed her inner thighs and worked his way to where he could taste but she pinched him and he drew back.

"No, please," she begged.

His fingers slowed. "What's the matter?"

She tried to answer but could not as his touch overwhelmed her. Her body betrayed her as she cried out and fell into his arms. Her breaths came in short gasps and he held her as she recovered while a large smile grew across his face.

Her breathing slowed and she grabbed his face and kissed him. She then dropped to her knees and sucked and ran her tongue down his chest all the way to where he also was straining for release. She reciprocated the undress and discarded his shorts before pleasuring him with more intimacy than she had allowed.

Chakotay grabbed at her hair and his grasp quickly disheveled her bun. As her long hair fell down her back, he ran it through his fingers in a desperate attempt to pull her up as it all became too much. "Kathryn, please!"

She suckled one last time and slowly removed herself. He pulled her up and she jumped into his embrace wrapping her legs around his waist. He carried her back to the edge of the bed, found it, and collapsed with her in his lap.

She reached down to guide him to where she needed him to be and he hissed as he slid inside relishing the quick pace she set. As she rocked on top of him, he thrust up and deep until her whimpers became more frequent and sustained finally cascading into their mutual shouts of release.

He held her tight as they spent themselves. "Kathryn," he gasped.

She lay against his heaving chest and replied, "I love you, Chakotay. I love you."


	17. Chapter 17

Chakotay lay on the bed with Kathryn on top of him. He listened to her breathe as he stroked her hair and her words ran through his mind. Her first declaration of love to him. He hoped it wouldn't be her last.

She rose and looked down with a smile. "I love you."

"You have no idea how long I have waited to hear that."

"I mean it."

He took a moment to steady his voice and said, "I know."

She pulled the last remaining piece of clothing, her tunic, off of her body. Chakotay reached up. "You are so beautiful," he said.

"I know."

He caught her eye. "Well, I'm glad you do."

She snuggled down on his chest again. "I could stay like this forever."

"There is a word for that."

"Mention marriage and I'm leaving."

He wrapped her in his arms. "Try it. I dare you."

"I mean it, Chakotay. Every time I take a step you want to push me further down the road."

He ran his fingers along her shoulder. "I don't mean to pressure you."

"Yes, you do. And I know why. It gets results."

"Well, that I can't complain about." He rolled her underneath of him. "Speaking of…" His mouth dipped to hers and she reached for him. Their tongues danced and their hands explored until she felt him hard against her again. She stroked him until his breathing grew ragged. "Kathryn, enough."

She brought her lips to his once more as he straddled her and took her with force. She met his thrusts with her own and rained kisses anywhere she could reach until he cried out.

He took a few minutes before realizing she wasn't complete and moved to push her over the edge. Kathryn's own cry soon followed and he lay next to her once again until they both slept.

Chakotay was startled awake by the computer the next morning. The previous night's events rushed through his mind and his body ached in all the right places. He reached over for Kathryn but the bed was empty. He sat up. "Kathryn?" He scanned the room but saw no sign of her. "Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"_Captain Janeway is in her quarters." _

Chakotay took a deep breath and quickly showered and dressed. With an hour to go before he needed to report to the bridge, he headed for her room. A few minutes later, he overrode her panel and walked in. "Kathryn?"

Her room was neat and untouched. He walked back towards her bedroom. The bathroom light was on and there he saw her in the tub with her eyes closed, a small smile on her face. He crept into the room and knelt down. Carefully, he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

She jumped and the towel wrapping her hair dropped into the water. "Chakotay!"

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Tracking down the woman who left me very unceremoniously in my own bed. Alone."

She put her arms around his neck soaking the top of his jacket and shirt. "I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

His eyes roamed over her wet skin. "I can think of a way you can make up to me." He kissed her and she reciprocated but, as he pressed forward, she pushed him back and jumped up. Grabbing a large towel, she wrapped herself up.

Chakotay shook his arms as the water dripped all over him. Wiping his face and hair, he glanced up and said, "What the hell, Kathryn?"

"We can't. We're due on the bridge in 45 minutes."

"I'm not that good. I swear it won't take that long. Come back here."

She stopped drying and said, "I just got clean."

"And I just got wet." He wiped another trickle of water from his face and said, "I promise I'll rinse you off really well." He could tell from her face that old habits were about to resurface and he pointed a finger. "Don't."

"We have to be on the bridge in less than an hour."

"Then stop wasting time." He leaned over and yanked the towel from her body and dropped them both to the floor.

Half an hour later, Kathryn and Chakotay were jostling for the mirror in the bathroom as they dressed. She smoothed her hair back and pinned her badge. "All set."

"With time to spare," he said.

"I wouldn't advertise that if I were you."

Chakotay chuckled as she walked into her living quarters. He followed and said, "May I at least walk with you to the bridge?" He offered his hand.

Kathryn drew back. "No, absolutely not!" She saw disappointment cross his face. "I mean…"

He waited but she was silent. His lips thinned. "The correct answer is yes. And if you don't want to hold hands or skip there I would be just fine with that. And your answer is?"

"I would rather we didn't arrive together," she said quietly.

Chakotay put his hands on his hips. "I see."

"Chakotay, please understand, we talked about this last night."

"Yes, we did. Except I remember a conversation about respect. I respect you enough not to treat you like a one night stand. Obviously you don't share the same courtesy."

"Chakotay."

"Save it, Kathryn. I'll see you on the bridge, Captain." He turned on his heel and stormed out.

She waited a few moments before leaving. Not because she wanted to avoid further turmoil but because she needed to think about her apology. As she stepped off the lift onto the bridge, her eyes immediately sought him out.

Chakotay was hunched over his computer screen, padd in hand, reviewing the crew rosters and duties.

She returned morning greetings to Tom and Tuvok. Tuvok added a raised eyebrow and she quickly turned away and walked to her seat. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Chakotay avoided her eyes with a slight shake of his head keeping his attention to his work. She sighed and busied herself in her own screen allowing silence to permeate the bridge over the next several hours.

"Captain."

"Yes, Tuvok?"

"The final reports on the Hirogen and repairs are ready for your perusal."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." She looked over at Chakotay and said, "Would you like to review them with me?"

Chakotay punched at his controls. "I'm sure you can handle it, Captain."

"I know I can but you were the only one who was aware for a substantial part of the time. I would appreciate your input."

"Let me know when you're done and I will review the report and submit my notes."

Janeway saw Tom sit up and turn his head in their direction. She could also feel his Tuvok's Vulcan stare from behind. She rose. "Join me in my ready room, now, Commander."

Chakotay's eyes followed as she walked purposely up the steps and disappeared into her room. Tom swung his chair around and said, "Somebody's in trouble. What's up with you?"

"Turn around, Paris, and mind your own business," Chakotay ordered.

"Aye, sir." Tom grinned at Harry and swung back to his conn.

Chakotay stood up and stared at Harry who quickly busied himself. Chakotay walked back towards the ready room and stopped at Tuvok's post. "You have the bridge."

"Understood, Commander."

Chakotay walked in and listened to the door slide shut. Kathryn placed two plates down at her desk and gestured toward a chair. "Sit. Last night was on you. Today, lunch is on me."

He walked over and noticed she had ordered one of his favorite vegetable dishes. "This is your way of saying you're sorry?"

She swallowed a bite of her sandwich. "No, my I'm sorry first thing this morning was my apology. The one you blew off."

"I thought we weren't allowed to have an audience for personal matters."

"That is your excuse for being so rude to me? I am still your Captain."

"How well I know."

She put her sandwich down. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me. Can we at least have a code word so I know when I'm going to get Kathryn and when I'm going to get this?"

"Off duty. On duty. That's your cheat sheet."

"And I told you I am not going to hide."

"I'm not hiding."

He eyed her, shook his head, and sat down. Picking up his fork, he ate and said nothing more.

"That's it?" she said. "You have nothing more to say?"

Chakotay took another mouthful. "Thank you. This is delicious."

She dropped her sandwich and pulled his plate away. "Now who won't talk and say what's on his mind?"

He wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Frustrating, isn't it?"

"So turnabout is fair play?"

"No, it's not. I don't want to do this but I refuse to have this argument with you again."

"Good."

"Good."

She picked up her food but put it down again and dusted her hands. "Okay, let's negotiate."

His eyebrow arched. "Negotiate? Negotiate what? Which hand I can hold when and for how long and on what deck and during which duty shift? No offense, Kathryn but I'd rather date a Vulcan."

"You can date whomever you like, Chakotay."

"Oh really? That's nice to hear after everything we've done." He ran his hands over his head. He blew out a deep breath and said, "Okay. You want to keep this behind closed doors and be a completely different person outside?" He shrugged. "Okay, fine. I'll do it."

"Why?"

"Because the sex is so good." He met her shocked eyes and shook his head. Leaning over her desk, he said, "Actually it's because if that's all I can have of you, I'd rather love you here and there when you'll allow me rather than not ever loving you at all."

Her face softened. "You mean that."

"I meant every word of it. I love you. And if this is the only way you'll let me do it, I guess I have to accept. You win."

"I don't want to win, Chakotay. I just want to be comfortable. I can't go at your pace. My love is there. I swear it. But the rest of me still has to figure it all out and that takes time."

He nodded. "Okay. I'll wait."

She gave him a small smile. "Thank you." She finished her lunch and grabbed her coffee. She noticed a faraway look on his face. "Chakotay? Chakotay?"

He smiled. "So just how far away are we from locking that door and having a private session? Not the full act but can you at least give me a timeframe on when you are good with a few nice moves here and there?"

She matched his cheeky grin and pointed to the door. "Out!"


End file.
